farewell.

Instructions

yes I am going to speak in a professional manner and there’s nothing you can do about it hahahaha L. I would like to start off by saying I am very grateful to you all. 150 followers? Thats 10x more than I thought I would ever receive. To think I would make friends on here feels…weird to me. Many people in my age group that know me come to dislike me. I guess thats why my online friends like me. They dont really know me. But I digress. I’m not spending a half hour typing this for it to turn into a pity party, after all. Though it’s not much of a big deal, either. Scratch is a pretty big community. You can keyboard spam anything and it’s probably someone’s username. It doesn’t really matter if one unpopular account is deleted. I am leaving for two reasons and two reasons only. 1. My art is trash. It was too early to think I could post it online. There are color, anatomy, perspective, and lineart errors. You can see them in any given art piece of mine. 2. So, funny story, I actually forgot this one for a while lol. Had this whole paragraph planned out. Damn my memory. I feel overwhelmed. It’s nothing you guys did, of course. I just feel the need to continue drawing along with school because drawing is one of the only things I’ve been told I’m good at. I feel the need to rush improvement, when in actuality thats not how it works. (I'm interested in taking Mogoon’s class, though. I hear it is very helpful and thorough.) I get these big bursts of motivation in which it is possible for me to create pieces worthy of praise, but those are sparse and I feel quite depressed during the times they are not there. This isn’t really a reason, because I can work on this at the same time and just go on hiatus, but I just want to throw it out there. I’ve come to realize it’s hard to deal with. Even if no one reads this, it helps to type it out. I need to work on my mental health. I have been severely depressed since around age 8. My parents found out about this when I was almost 10. They sought help for me, to which I was not receptive. I exhibited many self-destructive behaviors, some of which are why I am the way I am today. I’ve been slowly progressing, and am in a much better place now. We (being my parents and me) recently found out some personal things concerning a close family member of mine. We are seeking help for them. I feel that I now need to become the perfect, happy one, effective immediately. I feel it is time for this person to be in the “spotlight”, so to speak. I think they need to be on the radar and be watched over and assisted. No one knows how long they’ve been in pain and alone, and we’re trying to give them that support now. There’s no way my family can take care of two struggling people. Its my turn to do better. Right now thats the top things on my list, to improve independently. And even if I can’t improve, pretend like I can until I actually can. “Fake it till you make it”, a popular saying recites.