Rest in Peace buddy...<3

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It finally happened....he's free of pain It's SO hard- i-i i just can't handle it- it's like i hate myself for not spending much time with him- i putt that update up only YESTERDAY- i had to watch him leave- but he had a good life, he was only 4 years old (Since august 30th) and i don't think it was fair that he had to die so young...but he's in a better place now...right? rest in peace buddy, you've always been my baby boy </3 He was a 4 year old golden retriever... when i got the news that he had bone cancer...it broke me </3 but he was the best boy- ever.. but it was today that i held my baby boys soft, big head in my hands and watched him drift off to go with the one true king <3 it was absolutely heartbreaking, here is his story: He was a newborn puppy, 3 siblings (not including him) and his mother was Ember, and his father was Blue. he grew up, a healthy, good boy, when we realized he was just to special to send him away with other owners. at the time, we still had another litter, a litter of 6, and there, was newborn baby Mac, at the time, we had just lost another dog, from heart cancer, his name was sam, before he died, we bred him to our dog, Cheddar, so, we wanted to have at least one Samson puppy, we kept them both for about 3 months, when we realized- theo was way more like his grandpa (Samson) then mac was his father (also Samson) we loved them both intill one day- we thought- Mac was not getting enough attention, and love that he need's, and so even though we had a great connection with him, it was for the best, we learned that we need to put our pet's needs before ours when it comes to situations like this. anyways, there was a friend of our who lost their older dog, wanted a new one, all that stuff, so yea. then we were able to finally know that Mac was in the right place, but Mac- he was one of theo's *Best* friends, he went through a hard time, but eventually he was okay. we moved 8 hours away from home, and he went to parks, played with /LOTS/ of tennis balls, and he overall had the best life possible, in till October 2nd, we had noticed he was limping a bit, on his front left leg, we thought he tripped, sprained it, just as normal, nothin to severe, no need to go to the vet, but it didn't get better, it got worse- so we thought- eh- lets just check with the vet, make sure he didn't break a toe or anything, so we did. i got home from school, my dad picked me up- but he was working that day- so it was very...odd- i knew something was wrong-my dad almost NEVER skipped work- EVER. and we almost ALWAYS walk home- i asked my dad if theo was...okay- and he didn't reply- i got home to my mom brushing theo's fur- and crying, after i got my backpack situated, got a snack, she pulled me into her room, she shakily told me that- theo...he has bone cancer, it rots the muscle- leaving only skin and bone. and it is the MOST painful cancer out there.- she explained to me that it had gotten to his lungs, and he could had for over a year. we had a month left with him- after about a week, he developed a GIANT tumor on his front left leg, about the size of BIG baseball, it hurt- BAD he licked it, intill he developed a hot spot on it (kind of like a blister) and- his eyes, they were NOT happy, sparkly, and joy full. as time went on, he started to not eat, or drink, or sometimes, not even get up, these past 4 days, he won't even get up, for food, or on command, he used to follow me around, and he didn't even lift his head when i moved. after a while, we decided, if it's to the point where he won't even walk- it was time, and that day came. it was 8:00 i woke up, a beautiful day, the sun was shining, birds were singing, and it was just...perfect, once i got my breakfast,my mom came into my room, and sat next to me (this was today, November 23) and told me she made a appointment. i was confused for a moment, when i realized- it was for theo. he had a special dinner (he didn't eat lol) my mom took loads of photos, it didn't feel real, so stupid me, sat there, not doing a thing, while my mom was breaking down in tears- a few minutes later, it sunk in- this was his...last...day on earth... we sat with him, cried with him- and then, it came, we took home to the vet, and i sat there, holding his head in my hands- while he drifted away.... today- has been the hardest day of my life... it doesn't feel real- i look over the edge of my bed- thinking i'll see him- but i don't...i throw the tennis ball- i don't see my boy... and my brain is saying "You'll see him again in a little bit, don't worry!!" but- i don't, even though i will see him again- it won't be for years, and years. i want to- wake up- i want it to not be real...but it is real... rest in peace theo, you have done great, you did your best <33