basically skippy questioning gender n stufuf but from a more realistic standpoint love u moon. i wanna see u again.<3 song is tonight i feel like kafka by the jealous birds - In recent moons her mind had become a puzzle that even she could not figure out. “One, two, three steps, four…” Find one piece but then you have to start a whole new section. A puzzle so endless it drives one to sheer insanity. “Five, six, seven and-a eight…” Self doubt and lowered confidence was crucial to the puzzle’s inner workings. Why did she have to despise herself like this? Why did she have no relationships with anyone? A recluse who did nothing. Her happiness and bubbly aura had disappeared with the old sections of the puzzle. “Nine… and… ten. A-a-a-and we’re done!” Skiplodingpaw… was her name. Her name… She didn’t want a name. Not anymore. Skip, for Thrashercloud. She had always liked to skip. Always one step ahead. Exploding. Otterchase. Just a goofy name. She liked this the best, but things were different now. Thrashercloud, Otterchase, Sonderreign, Solsticesereign, Solacepaw. Benjaminfrank, Bluebonnettwist. She loved them. So why did she have to change? The tears that filled her eyes now were almost crystalline, transparent and shining in the darkness. Her ear flicked. Not once. Maybe twice. She lost track of time as her paws carried her away. Why did she have to change? She was a kitten. Mewling in the ship and crying for her fathers when she wanted more food. Playing with them and jingling Thrashercloud’s little collar bell. No… she could never have that again. Calling for Auntie Creamie. Screeching as she fell under the water and disappeared. Her life had been taken from her and she had quite literally done nothing with it. 25 moons old and Skiplodingpaw was an apprentice with no friends and nothing interesting going on. Why did things have to change? Why did her friends move on? Make new friends? New forts? She had nobody. The tears fell to the ground with a plop and all Skippy could do was smile. Skippy. Zippy. Blippy. No, those were all wrong. Wrong. She shook her head again, dumbfounded. She, her, they, them, fae, faer, he, him… no. Wrong. What was wrong with her? They didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know where to go. Ve was lost. Fae was lost. What was xer identity anymore? Sheer insanity. Her puzzle was at an end. It had to be. She, her, they, them… No. No. No. Wrong. It was all wrong. Nothing was right anymore. Who was Skiplodingpaw anymore? Why did things have to change? She let her paws guide her to the horizon, But she didn’t want to know where she was going anymore.
