Vent ( Cringe warning )

Instructions

(!Warning, This is really cringe I'm sorry- ) Story time: This is something that happened in the past. this isn't exactly what happened but this is how i feel. My best friend and me were friends since the start of kindergarten, She was my only friend I used to have. Back then i was unaware then best friends can turn out to be cruel, Once i was in third grade she started to hang out with other people, Not a problem... Right? Well it turned into a problem, She stopped talking to me and hanging out with me. She'd always say "We'll Play tomorrow!" She'd always. Always. Say that. But we never played. She left me. For other people.. Now I'm away from her. But this still haunts me. And I'm afraid to create any more life-long relationships between people. I don't want the same thing to happen, Not again. Never. After that i considered myself "friendless" but I was to scared to tell my "Best Friend" About the fact that we never spent time and that we need to take a different path and need to stop being friends. I tried it once but that made her cry, I was scared she'd hurt me or spread rumors about me, Do something that will make my life at that school even more miserable, Now Instead of just talking about her. I'm going to talk about how my school/class was. I had an Bad teacher. A really bad one, You don't even wanna know what she does, No. It's not a bad teacher as in one that yells all the time and is rude, I'm talking about the type that body shames their students and also Doesn't do anything when a student is attacking a student. You know those memes people post about how the teacher doesn't care about when someone is being bullied in their school but reacts when the victim defends their selves? i don't like those memes. Because that was what my teacher was. And i felt disgusted to see people actually use that and turn it into a "Funny" Meme. Moving on, We also had this girl in our class that had anger issues and would constantly hurt me. and the teacher wouldn't do anything about it. Not even the times when she made me bled. Then she would tell everyone else that I'M SCARY AND MEAN. just BECAUSE I DEFENDED MYSELF. AND THE TEACHER GOT MAD AT ME, BECAUSE SHE FELL BECAUSE I PUSHED HER WHEN SHE WAS ABOUT TO HIT ME, And I loved to draw animals and Human-animals (Like humans that have tails and fur and ears) And Some of the people in my class would laugh at me and tell me " Furry! Furry! Furry! You're an Wanna-be Furry! " Just because i drew animal-humans. And for anyone that does not know what a furry is, It is someone that wears a fursuit. drawing Animal Humans does not make you a furry, (This is not meant to offended furries, i support them But i am not one myself) This still haunts me to this day. I never told my parents, And this happened a year ago. A year. And all this suffering made me mean, i never wanted anyone to come near me. Guess it's true the victim will become the Bully once taken enough damage to the heart. and once we moved, My parent's said their going to get me a therapist after i came out to them on how i feel, And the fact that i have sickening thoughts in the night time that keeps me awake, I've been bottling up my emotions for so long that it started to make me go insane. The worst part is that i have anxiety, The anxiety got worse, and worse, and worse, the more days i didn't tell anyone what's going on with me. The anxiety felt like butterflies in my belly, I also had this Sick feeling, I can't describe it. But it made me feel so hopeless. Sometimes it would get so worse I would have a kind-of-breakdown. to those who also suffer anxiety, Reach out for help. Or else you might just end up feeling these exact things as i did. And i don't want that to happen, and to those who don't have anxiety, Don't bottle up you're feelings. Let it out anytime you feel like it, to someone you trust of course through, Anyways.. I Could still remember this all clearly. So clear. Like it was yesterday And for anyone that is worried for me, don't worry. the school i go to is a perfectly good school. and my teacher is absolutely wonderful, She's an Angel in disguise. She's sweet and kind, amazing and always helping me. My new school is nothing like my old school. I'm happy here. I'm away from all these bad people now. far away.. (I didn't move to a diffrent country - ) So I'm not posting. I'm going on a break, This whole thing was in the past. but i can't get it out of my mind. I just had to post something about this, I'm sorry for letting you all down... Especially to I'm sorry for being such a cringe idiot. You don't deserve me.