Um, hi. This is a bench press I really want for the agency, and... Uh, if you're reading this, Boss, I'll tell you 5 reasons why you should maybe probably buy it for me... 1: I'm kinda broke... I just spent all my money on the treadmill. So wh- what am I supposed to do on chest day?! Huh?! 2: ...Well, I mean I'm being very nice about it. I'm asking very nicely and it's only f- four hundred dollars... 3: All the lawyering I've done for you is a solid reason why you should buy this for me as a token of your appreciation! Honest, what would you do without me, Boss? I'm your best friend! Heheh... Ugh- 4: I'll cry. 5: ...Number 5, umm... Wow, I didn't think I'd get this far to be honest...
