Hey. So, I've had this on my chest for a while and I just to let it out. Sorry in advance if this becomes super long. Remember when last talked? Like, not online? Remember when we last met in person? Remember the last time we laughed at something the other said? Don't? I can't remember as well. And that makes me scared. Scared that we won't be able to reconnect, scared that we won't ever cross the rift. At least, I feel like there was a rift. After a few weeks when Covid started, I never talked with you. I never called. I never asked if you were okay, how were you doing. I never asked if you feeling down, so I never tried to cheer you up. Isn't that what a friend does? Isn't what someone who cares does? I told a friend my worries, told her how scared I was. She assured me everything was fine, told me it would be okay. It reassured me, but not that much. So let me say what's been on my mind for the past year. When Covid started, I talked less and less. I'm ashamed to admit it, but I forgot about you. That's what's been killing me inside, what's been nagging at me. My mind keeps telling me I should've been a better friend. It hit me hard all of a sudden. I'm sorry that this is all jumbled up, I'm just blurting this all out on a computer. So, to put it shortly, I'm sorry for abandoning you. I'm sorry that I left you. I'll admit this as well: I'm also kind of envious of you. You and our other friends still talked, your relationships were close, from what I saw in our groupchat. Then I saw that you guys stopped talking. I honestly don't know if you guys still talk, but I know two of you do. And I'm envious of that. Younger me had told herself that our friendship would last really long: We would still be friends when we were old. But I suppose that didn't work out very well, did it? Never in my life would I imagine that we would stop talking, just drift apart. And that leads me to what I specifically fear. I think you've already guessed it, but I'm still going to say it: I'm afraid to lose you. And I think I have. Now, I want to reconnect. But I'm scared of one thing: Will you forgive me for, as I see it, leaving you? You won't hold any grudges? If you do forgive me, let's hope I won't leave you again. Infinitely sorry, Basil dela Cruz <3
Hi. This is kinda personal, it's for a friend, so if you could not see this I'd appreciate it. I'll be taking this down in a while, until they see it, so you might not see it anyways. Thanks for respecting privacy. Also, for the friend I'm sending this too, can you send this to our other old friends? Tell them that this is from me? I'm sorry about leaving them too. Thank you.
