I remembered the feeling of someone. They were warm against me, holding me, protecting me. I remember crying because I was told to run away from my problems, and I foolishly listened to every remark you spat out. You weren't all good, though. My mother, I mean. I guess she is why I have bruises running up my legs. She was angry, wasn't she? I didn't- I don't remember her name. That's okay. Some people aren't worth remembering. There are other people too. I used to travel. I met many people and did various things. But I couldn't fight the feeling of someone finding me. I will remember you as long as I can, Lucien. Remember the endless nights we spent? Spending money carelessly? I just decided to ruin it all, then. I pushed you farther off the edge. I'm sorry. Joan, I remember you also. I remember the way your hair blew in your face when you faced me. The laugh you would explode with at the smallest things. I'm truly sorry for what I did to you both. I ruined you. The one I love most is the one I cannot remember. I cannot remember because it hurts too much. You taught me how to feel, to love and how to think. It was like a checkbook in my head. Loving was supposed to be natural. It was hard, but it came. Every heartbeat was encouraging me to love, to tick away at every box. I would love and not, like a flickering light. I remember when you told me the most important way to show affection. A kiss. Something as simple as a press to the lips said a thousand words. I just decided to ruin everything. I loved you all very dearly. I'm very sorry for what I've done. You called me to an apartment. Somewhere big and high, my favorite place to be. A place where you could be alone. I cannot remember your name. I remember you holding me, just like my mother had. A gash and a cry and all my love poured out. I remember a kiss, a few drinks, and tired eyes. Why did love hurt so much? Why was I bleeding? It was so cold, as I dangled my feet over the edge of the window. A wrong step and I would be gone. You were next to me. You said 'I love you', and that was the end. I couldn't say back anything before you fell. We fell.
poem story thing?? I dont normally write like this T.T i hope its good @navysdiary
