I have 12 pages of this, help- Daisypaw: HYDRATE OR DIE-DRATE! Daisypaw: *aggressively throws water bottles* Snowpaw: Uh... what's up with them? Petalpaw: They're trying to yell mental health and wellbeing into us. Daisypaw: I APPRECIATE ALL OF YOU! Brightpaw, crying: It's working. *In a horror movie situation* Snowpaw: I've got no service in my phone here. Petalpaw: Shoot, my battery just died. Brightpaw: Sorry guys, I just broke my phone with a hammer. Daisypaw: Guys, my phone is a book. Brightpaw: What do you want then? Snowpaw: Er… something work related. Brightpaw: What department is this? Snowpaw: Sorry? Brightpaw: Well, if it’s work related you’d obviously know what department this is. What department is this? Snowpaw: *looks at Petalpaw and Daisypaw* Some sort of homosexual department? Snowpaw: What’s your biggest fear? Brightpaw: That I’ll never be good enough for anyone. Petalpaw: Everyone hates me and talks about me behind my back. Daisypaw: Zombies. Brightpaw: ... Petalpaw: ... Daisypaw: BUT they can open doors. Petalpaw: For self defense reasons, I'm going to pretend to be a burglar and you guys have to act wisely. Daisypaw, Brightpaw, & Snowpaw: Okay. Petalpaw: If you don't want to die, give me all your money. Daisypaw: Bold of you to assume I have money. Brightpaw: Bold of you to assume I don't want to die. Snowpaw: Bold of you to assume I can die. Petalpaw: You know you can die from that, right? Snowpaw: *smoking a cigarette* That’s the point. Brightpaw: *drinking alcohol* We’re trying to speed this up. Daisypaw: *Eating raw cookie dough and nodding* Petalpaw, watching Daisypaw & Snowpaw panic : What's going on? Brightpaw: Snowpaw is having a midlife crisis and Daisypaw is just having a crisis. Brightpaw: I just watched Petalpaw jump off of a spinning chair. Luckily, they weren't hurt that badly. But the whole time, Snowpaw was screaming for help, which caused Daisypaw to run in to help Petalpaw. Just note that all of this happened in the span of six minutes. Brightpaw: *is hugging Daisypaw* Snowpaw: Hey! It's my turn to hug Daisypaw! Snowpaw: *grabs Daisypaw* Petalpaw: *kicking down the door* What do you mean, "yOuR tUrN"? We agreed now is my time slot! Brightpaw: No, It's still my turn! Daisypaw: *suffocating* Guys, I love you, but just because I'm the smallest doesn't mean you can be hugging me constantly! Snowpaw: But we need the moral support! Brightpaw: And you're small! Which is cute! Petalpaw: If I don't hug you right now I think the depression will kick in and my body will stop functioning. Daisypaw: *close to tears* Well- I, I guess. Snowpaw: Petalpaw is taking credit for Brightpaw's work, getting them to deal with everything, and making fun of them! You know what they sounds like? Daisypaw: You? Snowpaw: No, I meant... You know Brightpaw. In spite of being clever and sarcastic they’re also... fragile and weird and they have trouble fitting in. And Petalpaw is taking advantage of their weakness! You know what that’s called? Daisypaw: A Snowpaw? Snowpaw: ...Yeah, but I’m the only one who should be allowed to do that, okay?! Daisypaw: What’s wrong? You look 10 seconds away from ripping someone’s throat out. Snowpaw: Fricking Brightpaw and Petalpaw were trying to invoke one of the minor gods again last night. I didn't get an ounce of sleep, thanks to their bloody chanting. Daisypaw: On the count of three, what’s your favorite cake? Daisypaw & Snowpaw: One, two, three- Daisypaw & Snowpaw: Chocolate cake, peanutbutter frosting, and chocolate chunks! Petalpaw: Our turn, Brightpaw! One, two, three- Petalpaw: Vanilla! Brightpaw: I’ve never had cake before. What is cake? Petalpaw: Made you all playlists! Petalpaw: Snowpaw, yours has only heavy metal, and is dark like your soul. Petalpaw: Daisypaw, yours has sad songs and blues to pair with your crippling depression. Petalpaw: And Brightpaw has the ABBA Gold album. Daisypaw: *Gasp* Snowpaw: wHAT?? Daisypaw: What if soy milk is just milk introducing itself in Spanish? Snowpaw: *inhales* Brightpaw, in another room with Petalpaw: Why can I hear screeching?
Daisypaw, watching Petalpaw and Snowpaw fight: Are you sure they should be fighting? What if they get hurt? Brightpaw, not bothered by the chaos: It’s fine. They’re too evenly matched to hurt each other. Daisypaw: Then... who’s the strongest out of you three? Petalpaw: Brightpaw. Snowpaw: Brightpaw. Brightpaw: Me. Daisypaw: How did none of you hear what I just said?! Petalpaw: I've been zoned out for the past two and a half hours. Brightpaw: I got distracted halfway through. Snowpaw: Ignoring you was a conscious decision. Brightpaw: You just said ‘hole’ too many times. Petalpaw: And that’s coming from Brightpaw. Daisypaw: *Points at Brightpaw* That’s concerning. Snowpaw: YOU THINK YOU KNOW EVERYTHING PETALPAW! *storms out* Brightpaw, singing to the tune of I Kissed a Girl: I killed a guy, and I liked it- Daisypaw, whispering: Should we call the exorcist? Snowpaw, also singing: The taste of his cherry chapstick. Petalpaw, appalled: Call the exorcist. *after the Squad's plan goes horribly wrong* Brightpaw: Now it seems we're back at square one-- finding Daisypaw. Snowpaw: For the record, I already found them. Petalpaw: And you let them get away before we could have a meaningful conversation. Snowpaw: They stabbed me! Brightpaw: I'm surprised they waited this long, Snowpaw. We've all had the urge. Snowpaw: What is it called when you kill a friend? Petalpaw: Homicide. Brightpaw: Murder. Daisypaw: Homiecide. Petalpaw & Brightpaw in the back of Snowpaw's car: MCDONALDS! MCDONALDS! MCDONALDS! Daisypaw: We have food at home. Snowpaw: *pulls into the McDonald's drivethrough* Petalpaw & Brightpaw: YAYYYYYY! Snowpaw: *orders one black coffee and leaves* Petalpaw: Oh god, they texted you ‘hi.’’ punctuation only means one thing, Snowpaw. They're mad at you. Snowpaw: No, it's Daisypaw. They're just being gramatically correct! *meanwhile* Daisypaw: And then I used a period so they'd know that I'm mad at them. Brightpaw: A period doesn't say 'I'm mad', it says 'you're dead to me'. Daisypaw: I stand by my choice. Brightpaw: You guys worried about Daisypaw? Snowpaw: Totally! Petalpaw: Yeah, they called me in the middle of the night and just yelled, "what do I do, what do I do, what do I do, what do I do?" Brightpaw: And what'd you say? Petalpaw: "I dunno, I dunno, I dunno, I dunno." Snowpaw: Brightpaw: They're lucky to have you as a friend. Brightpaw: Good night. Daisypaw: Sleep tight. Snowpaw: Don't let the bedbugs crawl up to your ear and whisper threatening things that make you question yourself. Petalpaw: Great, now Daisypaw's crying. Snowpaw: I give up. I am so tired. Petalpaw: Get the emergency supply! Brightpaw: *carries Daisypaw and places them in front of Snowpaw* Daisypaw: *smiles* Snowpaw: AND I AM BACK BABY, LET’S GOOO
