Petalpaw: Hi, could I ask how exactly does one accidentally set a lemon on fire?? Daisypaw: Microwave for 40 minutes. Brightpaw: Why were you microwaving a lemon??? Daisypaw: I read boiling lemons helps cover up up bad smells (I wanted to cover up the scent of burnt oranges) but I didn't own any pots. Snowpaw: Did you burn an orange too? How??? Daisypaw: Microwave for 40 minutes. Daisypaw: Ducks are better than rabbits. Petalpaw: What? Rabbits are adorable. Have you ever been in a fight with a duck? Ducks are jerks. Brightpaw: Duck is delicious! Rabbit is all gamey. Petalpaw: We’re not talking about flavour, Brightpaw! Brightpaw: Flavour counts! Petalpaw: Who carries around a duck’s foot for good luck? Anyone? Snowpaw: You wrap yourself in a comforter stuffed with rabbit hair. I’ll wrap myself in a comforter stuffed with duck feathers! Who’s cozier? Petalpaw: Okay, but- Snowpaw: NO, NO, NO, NO. WHO’S COZIER? Brightpaw: Then why don’t we take a rabbit, a duck, stick ‘em in a cardboard box and let them fight it out! Petalpaw: BECAUSE IT’S ILLEGAL, BRIGHTPAW! Brightpaw: ONLY IF WE BET ON IT, PETALPAW! Daisypaw: I- Jesus- Brightpaw: A pessimist sees a dark tunnel. Daisypaw: An optimist sees light at the end of the tunnel. Snowpaw: A realist sees a freight train. Petalpaw: The train driver sees three idiots standing on the tracks. Snowpaw: I’m gonna die alone. Brightpaw: Snowpaw, you’re not gonna die alone. Snowpaw: Petalpaw, was my safety net, okay? They got married and now I have to get a snake. Daisypaw: Uh-huh. Why is that? Snowpaw: If I’m gonna be an old lonely person, I’m gonna need a thing, you know? A hook. Like that guy in the subway who eats his own face. Snowpaw: So I figured I’ll be “Crazy Man With A Snake”, you know? Crazy snake man. Snowpaw: Then I’ll get more snakes, call them my babies. Kids won’t walk past my place, they will run! RUN AWAY FROM CRAZY SNAKE MAN! Snowpaw: What’s it like being tall? Daisypaw: Is it nice? Petalpaw: Can you reach comfortably for the cupboards? Brightpaw: We live in constant fear of the short ones who, in my experience, will climb four chairs, two boxes, a small coffee table, and six oddly placed stools to get what they want. Brightpaw: *tapping fingers on table* Daisypaw: *taps fingers back furiously* Snowpaw: …What’s going on? Petalpaw: Morse code. They’re talking. Brightpaw: -.-- ..- .-. / - …. . / -.-. ..- - . … - Daisypaw: *slams hands on table* YOU TAKE THAT BACK! Daisypaw: Those darn tall old people. Petalpaw: Darn em' indeed. Brightpaw: Don't worry, they'll be gone soon enough. Snowpaw: *sharpening knife* Yes. Dead. The Squad: Snowpaw: Hahaha. Snowpaw: ...Is this self-destructive behaviour? Daisypaw: We might have gotten into a bar room brawl back in the city. Brightpaw: Well, that was entirely predictable. Daisypaw: One of them punched a gang member. Brightpaw: Snowpaw? Daisypaw: Petalpaw, actually. Brightpaw: Oh, that was going to be my second guess. Snowpaw: Brightpaw, we're hungry! Daisypaw: Brightpaw! What's for dinner? Petalpaw: We're hungry, Brightpaw! Brightpaw, frying a bottle of ketchup over the stove: *screams* Brightpaw: They... well, I wouldn't call it inheritance per se. What do you call it when you kill someone and get their stuff? Daisypaw: Um, murder??? Petalpaw: Adventuring! Snowpaw: Tuesday. Daisypaw: Brightpaw spat in Snowpaw's ear today when they were sitting on the couch together. Petalpaw: ...What?! Why?! Daisypaw, shrugging: You tell me. Daisypaw: What is love? Petalpaw: An emotional minefield. Snowpaw: A neurochemical reaction. Brightpaw: Baby don't hurt me. Brightpaw: It’s time to turn this into a real business. Snowpaw: What do you mean? Like, carry a briefcase, and wear a tie, and pay taxes? Petalpaw: Wait, have you not been paying your taxes? Daisypaw: I handle our accounting. Petalpaw, Brightpaw & Snowpaw: *screaming* Daisypaw: *runs into the room* What's wrong, Snowpaw?! Petalpaw: Wait, why are you asking Snowpaw that when Brightpaw and I are also here? Daisypaw: Because Snowpaw wouldn't scream unless it's an emergency. You two scream whenever you have the chance.
So many...I must resist the urge to create more
