[ It’s Time, ‘Ma. ] [ Boardusk’s Dilemma ]

Instructions

TW- Mentions of gore, death, and trauma. ——— The day his mother died, Boardusk’s future was clear. It was as if he’d been underwater until his Ma’s death jarred him out of it, into a cruel, harsh, unforgiving world. He’d had to learn to survive without the closest thing he’d had to true stability in his life, and it was hell- but he’d managed. And he’d upheld his promise to his Ma, a promise he’d made to her on her death bed. ——— [ Flashback - 8 Moons Ago ] - “Ma?” The tiny apprentice’s shaky voice skipped into the healer’s den, shattering the silence like glass. Accompanied with the sudden annihilation of peace, came a hacking cough, followed by creaky words, limping out of a cat’s mouth to greet her son. “Boarpaw?” Before her offspring could reply, the queen shook herself. “You.. shouldn’t be here. Shouldn’t see.. me.. like this.” The silence afterwards was deafening, and words in despair replied moments later. “Ma.. Jasperpaw says you’re dying.” The all-too familiar silence that rushed to greet him after the eddies of his voice faded away caused the apprentice to cringe. “Ma?” He asked again, impatient for a response. “Is.. is that true?” More silence. The hairs on the youngsters back rose, and he began to walk towards his mother. He to avoid looking directly at her face- the face that used to be perfect, pristine, but now was horribly mutilated. /Stupid fox./ All Boarpaw could think of was her beautiful, blue eyes- the eyes that he’d never get to see again. The eyes that had been gouged halfway out by the rabid beast that rampaged across the border, carried by wings of death and talons of despair to wreck havoc upon Boarpaw’s family. Boarpaw reached out with a tentative paw, nudging his mother’s frail, afflicted body. An awful, sinking feeling almost immediately tore across his chest. Something was wrong. “Ma? Ma?” He asked, his eyes dilating with fear. His mothers breath was labored, doused with pain and laced with panic. “Boarpaw-“ She panted in reply. “Boarpaw, listen to me. W-We don’t have much time.” Boarpaw didn’t like the sound of that, but before he could open his mouth to protest, his mother went on. “Promise me.. that you won’t play the game. Try.. it’ll be hard, but please, try to avoid it, as long as possible. It’s.. danger..” Her breathing cut off before she could reply. Her body went limp, and her son froze. His mother was gone. ——— [ Present Time - 7 Moons Later ] - It took Boardusk awhile to realize what his mother meant by avoiding the game, but he understood now. His beloved guardian had meant for him to not rebel, but to also not follow the rules directly. Either way, you’d get killed or blamed for a fool. He’d avoided making friends; those would make him weak, and put a target on his back- and possibly hurt others. He’d avoided joining the revolution, no matter how tempting it was, because those idiots were on a (self no-no) mission- they just didn’t realize it, did they? Nobody seemed to see his vision of the twisted game they were forced to play, the paths all so clearly set out for them. He’d distanced himself, and played by his own rules- the rules necessary to stay under the radar. But now, Boardusk had been violently shoved into the playing field by Nectarcrest. He hadn’t realized his own, simple rules, wouldn’t have saved him from this. He’d done a poor job in predicting this, even though it was the only certain thing that would 100% have happened in his life. If he’d planned for this, he would’ve stayed away from her. Sure, he’d have kits with her, because.. well, they didn’t have a choice, but he’d have avoided her at all costs, otherwise. That way he wouldn’t have been tethered to the game’s rules- he could’ve continued playing by his own. But now- now that he knew her, he knew that affection had rose within his hardened soul. He knew that he wanted to be her friend. And that- that meant that he was playing by the normal rules. That the clan’s damned system for forced affection was actually working on him, and he’d been too foolish to foresee it. /I’m sorry, Ma./ /I’ve failed you. / /And now it’s time to play this sickening game, whether I like it.. or not./ ——— [ END ] *Questions appreciated, b/c I don’t think I portrayed his ‘avoiding the game’ thing perfectly haha. *