To all parties involved: This isn't meant to make you angry, although it likely will, and well, I probably need to stop caring what people think about me because people will always hate me because I hold many unpopular beliefs, especially in this incredibly politicized world. That being said, here we go. I'm just tired. I know people will get mad at me all the time in real life, and it almost seems futile to postpone that any more. But it's just an exhausting feeling to know that there is someone always needing you, that you aren't allowed to take time away or else that person will spend the rest of the day crying her eyes out. There is no pause button, just like there is no rewind button. People will get mad at you. It's inevitable. What matters is how you handle it afterward, not what you did in the first place. How do you make things right, especially when the second party makes that incredibly hard. I shouldn't be as mad as I am about this. I should have known this would happen. I should have thought about it more. But I didn't. I'm a human. I make mistakes. Maybe I've done some bad things, but I try to keep myself from demonizing people. That's perhaps why it affects me so profoundly when somebody ends up demonizing me. I try not to demonize people. It's true. While I might disagree or dislike a person, I see no reason to demonize them publicly. (privately, perhaps, but only to my brother or close friends.) It's refreshing that in this particular instance the person publicly demonizing me is keeping my identity anonymous, but it's very easy for the particularly nosy person to find out who I might be. And I might admit it. I might as well. There's nothing left to lose. I'll probably get over it eventually. There's nothing left to do but move forward, and I know how much nostalgia can destroy a person. Perhaps if she wants to rectify this, I'll let her, but I see no reason to go out of my way to repair this if something similar is going to happen again. I don't see any reason why I should go out of my way to continue good relations with a person I've never met face-to-face who thinks that she should come before my family. Yes, I know that I've screwed this up. I'm not completely blameless, but perhaps our priorities need to be rethought. There has to be a better way to go about this. I've been given quite a lot to think about. I think I need some more time. I'm sorry.
