Well I screwed it all up again. I hurt the person I loved the most, What is wrong with me-? I said I would never hurt them but I did i'm horrible, and it's worse that they refuse to break up with me, like I cheated and yet you are still willing to stay with me? I'm not gonna play victim I just hate myself, I think abt it and I wonder how tf could I ever do that? I'm messed up, and again it makes me more upset and they dont wanna leave me.. I have no clue if its bcs they love me or they are worried abt me. But I tried to keep someone and failed again. How could I be so stupid? They are so kind and I took advantage of them, I want them to forgive me but at the same time I know I deserve it, I wished they never met me so they wouldn't be hurt.
