hm... i'm not sure what to do anymore. i feel anxious thinking of this place and despair when i'm not on this account. but i miss my true friends. i miss just being able to talk with people. it's only been two days but i've never been a strong person. i'm not sure what to do. i feel lost. i know everyone hates me. but perhaps my addiction has taken over again. but i want to be here. here. with the people i cared about most. the people who loved me for my imperfections on here. i want to be able to create chaotic characters again. that are nice, and wholesome. like bat's melody. not a downer to play with. but i don't know. not everyone is my friend anymore. and that's fine. i don't hold grudges. but i've made mistakes. and i'm sorry. but if i return, it just gives you a position to hate me. so i don't know. but i still love tfcrp despite everything. i don't want wasppoppy anymore. but i want good characters like bat in my life, giving me good, happy influences instead of negative, because happy characters make me happier. make me better. i let wasppoppy control me too much. but i would never do what he did. ever. i have a conscience and i won't let it go. no matter how much negativity is thrown at me. and i went overboard. but those are the mistakes of the young. so i'm not sure. but i don't want to leave you all. not the people i've known for years. just because of what? a silly misunderstanding? is it worth it to hold grudges? no. it never will be. i am not my characters. i never will be. i will never feel hate like they do. i will never do what they do. i am not them, and they are not me. i have never meant anything by them. and i will stand by that whether you believe me or not. because i'm not like that. and i know it. so i might come back. i feel like my story isn't over. this can't be over. i can't keep waiting. it hurts me every day to not be here, to having left on a sour note. sorry for rambling i guess. i know i'm stupid sometimes lmao. i'm not ready to give up. love you all. (even if you don't like me.) - veo
i might move to a new account. because this account is... bad to say the least.
