just venting

Instructions

!!TW!! Even before grade school, I was special. I was 'that kid' I was the smart girl The teachers pet The kid that was bullied for reading books My friend and I would walk upstairs to the first grade classroom We sat up there with the big kids, learning to read chapter books, while our peers were struggling to write their own names. We were up there with the very best students, showered with constant praise We would always be the first to get our awards at school assemblies The first to finish the tests The kids who accidentally finished the book a month early. We were special. Were. Time moved on, and so did we. We grew up always being told that we were so smart, and that one day we would be something truly amazing. See, the problem here is that as we climbed higher and higher, being smart was an expectation. It was a requirement. While they strived for success, I fell behind I was distracted by myself My ugly body and hatred for my mind I hated everything about myself, and I still do. Even now I find it difficult to pass even one class In a matter of months, I went from the top student to the kid who 'doesn't try' The truth is, I am trying I promise, I am It's just that nobody sees me when I do They only recognize my faliures It's gotten to the point where punishment no longer hurts me. Detention? Sure. Failing grade? Alright. Getting yelled at by my parents? I'll cry, but okay. Theres no longer anything that they can do that will make me more upset. I'm not ready to die, but I do want to be special again. The thing about growing up as the gifted kids is that... Your candle burns brighter than theirs It smells nicer, looks prettier, and is the most popular in the store. But it melts faster. It soon turns and ugly, burnt black It now only smells of wax and rubber It's just an ordinary candle. Without the constant praise and positivity, it becomes harder to light the candle. The wick burns down to ashes, and you're left as a deformed pile. It's all because they took away your creativity They took away your thirst to learn Your strong imagination, your powerful young mind They killed your soul So don't wish that you were 'the gifted kid' Dont want it. All it'll bring you is pain -- a burnt out gifted kid

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