1) I feel like I'm faking everything when I'm not, but I feel like it. 2) My friends don't care about how I feel, even if my mental state/health depends on it. 3) I am constantly faking my smile. 4) I am constantly getting stressed about school & work. 5) I am getting vented on so much. . . 6) I feel so useless. 7) I'm to blame for my pain. I'll make it for detailed tomo
Detailed: WARNINGS: Mentions of b|00d, d3@th & $*!(!*3@| thoughts: So, when I started scratch, I was already pretty depressed. I didn't have too many friends, but I thought this would help me with my stress. None of them wanted to help me & just laughed off my problems, saying that I'm either a brat or else just laughing it off. I decided to ignore the problem by fake smiling, hoping it'd work, but it made it even worse . . . I lost one of my friends, after starting scratch, at first it was helping, but then it made my problem even worse. Mostly because I was isolating myself from the world, but scratch is really all that I have, & I'm gonna lose that soon for 2 months when I get grounded for having a C- into math. It isn't fair too because I've studied! I just don't get composites! One of my friends vented harshly onto me without permission & it actually hurt a lot. I felt like it was my fault. Perhaps it was my fault & it's my only purpose is to try to make people feel better. No, I have no purpose, I make people's day even worse. I am to blame for my own pain. I decided to try new things & it made me even worse. I'm the reason my mother hates me. I'm the reason my father & his little girlfriend left for N.Y, I'm the reason you're sad right now if you are, or angry. I don't deserve empathy. There is more to my problem, but it's VERY personal.