my life has no meaning; it seems as if i have exchanged my happiness, for the ability to have no feeling. nothing brings me joy. "do things that make you happy" they say; but i don't care about the things i used to enjoy. i put on a happy face. so my friends and family don't worry; otherwise i'd be nothing more than a disgrace. i deal with the bullying. they're just middle schoolers, anyway. in a few years they'll be off doing their own thing. my parents are inescapable. so i'll just have to wait several more years; until i can leave and their existence is nothing but a fable. all i want to do is escape; and greet death with a warm smile. but it would break people's hearts, something they cannot mend with tape. i cannot abandon the ones who care for me. because that would be selfish, like the person i am. but all i want is to finally be free.
