im just gonna be real honest here. these past few months have been real hard. I've been really struggling with mental health. lets rewind to January... ↺ .... ʲᵃⁿ ⁰¹ ʟᴏᴀᴅɪɴɢ .... ᴄᴏᴍᴘʟᴇᴛᴇ jan 1 . 2023 --- I had high hopes for 2023. 2022 was really rough and I was ready to rise above it all and become my best self. *sad laugh* little did I know what 2023 was ready to throw at me. I've always struggled with mental health, it's always been there in my life. I was clinically diagnosed with anxiety when I was 10 I think. But I knew I had it long before then. When I was like 11 or something like that I was diagnosed with depression. Depression is... I don't even know. For those of you who are wondering what depression feels like, it's basically all-consuming hopelessness and --in my case-- self-loathing. My goals for 2023 were to really get a head of my mental health. But... this year has been my worst year mental health wise. I really struggle with accepting my feelings. I just bottle it up and choose to ignore it all. And then when the bottle is full, I explode. And it's not pretty. Me exploding can look different depending on the situation. Like a week or so ago I had a mental breakdown in class and just started sobbing in the halls. Yeah... the things that usually trigger these sudden outbursts are usually small stupid things, that just set me off. For example, a schedule change. After years of struggling with mental health, I got prescribed medication. It helped, at first. If you struggle with mental health, you know how trying new medication is quite the process and trial and error. Blah blah cue the me being depressed for months montage. And now. here we are. april second. I didn't mean for that to turn into a whole sob story heh. so now I'm ready to heal <3 I know this is different that what I normally do but I just wanted to document my experience so I can help others struggling with mental health #01 - interactions this is the main thing I want to work on. during the past few months, I would just want to shut myself out from everything. But that just makes everything worse. Even if it doesn't feel like it, what you need is to interact with people. People who love and support you, and want you to be happy. Like playing ping-pong with my sibling and cousins at 10 pm, hanging out with your family, having a nice chat with a close friend, and shopping with friends. Shutting yourself out will make things worse. I know that from experience, but it's still hard. sometimes, ill pretend Im find in front of everyone and then when I'm by myself the floodgates are open and its not pretty. If you're going through this, Im sorry. it really sucks. but im here for you. Always remember you are loved, and you are enough. It's hard, but you can get through it. It won't last forever. Sry that was really cheesy. But I have to remind myself these things a lot. But you can always look to other people for help. Interaction.That's what I'll be working on. Tysm for sticking through til the end ur a real one luv y'all <3
