Lifesteal SMP incorrect quotes (ft. ash, clown, spoke, parrot, red, and princezam) ashswag: What is this!? spoke: That’s the weight of guilt. Give in to the nice side. Help those unfortunate, and make the guilt go away, my friend. ashswag: Ow! Make it stop! spoke: Surrender to your kindness, ashswag. It’s nice to be nice. ashswag: Your guilt is strong, my friend. But it is no match for the power of my selfishness! clownpierce: So reddoons, how did your first time cooking dinner go? reddoons: Pretty good if I do say so myself. clownpierce: Oo! Okay, what are we having? reddoons: Alright, so for appetizers, we have a potato. clownpierce: A whole potato? reddoons: Yes. And then for the main course, we have grilled cheese sandwiches! clownpierce: These just look like big slabs of black. reddoons: Because that's what they are! reddoons: And then for desert, we have chocolate. clownpierce: These are just chocolate chips? reddoons: They sure are! reddoons: And then for drinks, we have toast! reddoons: *lifts up a glass of blended toast* Bon appetite!
spoke: Everyone synchronise your watches. parrot: I don't know how to do that. reddoons: I don't wear a watch. princezam: Time is a construct. Police: You’re under arrest for trying to carry three people on a single motorcycle. spoke, with ashswag and clownpierce behind them: Wait, what do you mean THREE?! Police: Yes…three. spoke: Oh, my God— What the duck!? Police: Wha- spoke: reddoons DUCKING FELL OFF! princezam: Is anyone going to tell me what's going on in here?! spoke: It's kind of complicated, but clownpierce- princezam: Got it. Forget I asked. princezam: Please say words of encouragement to me so I don’t murder someone right now. clownpierce: There are no doors in prison. princezam: *sighs* Thank you. parrot: Good morning. clownpierce: Good morning. spoke: Good morning. reddoons: You all sound like robots, try spicing it up a bit. ashswag: MORNING MOTHERQUACKERS! spoke, reading a recipe: Beat three eggs? reddoons: It means like in hand-to-hand combat. spoke: Ohhhh- parrot: Both of you get out of this kitchen. spoke: Slash gamemode creative. clownpierce: Dude, this isn't Min- spoke: *starts levitating* clownpierce: We have a problem. spoke: Let me guess, you caused it? ashswag: Gimme a sec, I'm not drunk enough to listen to this yet. parrot: And it's another Tuesday, your point? princezam: Would shooting you solve this problem? No? Then shut up. reddoons: If you're mean the fire, that's our solution to last week's problem. parrot: Are you trying to give me an aneurysm? clownpierce: Pretty sure we all are. reddoons: I wasn't. spoke: I was. ashswag: I was trying to stop them, for your consideration. princezam: I just cause aneurysms naturally. clownpierce: We can’t tell you because you’re not a member of the club. ashswag: What club? reddoons: The hating ashswag club. ashswag: …The heck? I should be the leader of that club! ashswag: I found a note in one of my old word .docs that said Note to self: Get revenge on princezam. ashswag: Except I couldn't remember what I was supposed to get revenge for. ashswag: But I trusted my own judgment, so I went with it. princezam: Hmm... I don't know what you were supposed to get revenge for, either. ashswag: I can only assume you got what was coming to you. Not 100 percent sure, though. princezam: Well, whatever I did, I guess I deserved it. ashswag: Let that possibly be a lesson to you. ashswag: *standing at the top of the stairs* What are y'all doing at the bottom of the staircase? princezam: I accidentally fell down. parrot: SPOKE PUSHED ME down the stairs because I refuse to pay THEIR part of our rent! clownpierce: princezam bet me fifty bucks that I couldn't reach the bottom of the stairs faster than they did falling down it, so I slide down the banister to get my money. reddoons: I don't know how I got here. One moment, I was sleeping in my bed, three floors up, and then suddenly I was waking up here, just in time to get crushed by clownpierce. reddoons: Man, they look like a real handful. How do you deal with them? clownpierce, watching ashswag screaming, princezam trying to set a sleeping spoke on fire, and parrot choking on air: I don't know either. Store Worker: Would a “clownpierce” please come to the front desk? clownpierce, arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem? Store Worker, pointing to spoke and reddoons: I believe they belong to you? spoke and reddoons, simultaneously: We got lost. clownpierce: I didn’t even bring you guys here with me— princezam, Entering reddoons's room: ashswag did it again. reddoons: Peace disturbance? princezam: What no- reddoons: Arson..? princezam: NO, JESUS CHRIST, HOW MANY- reddoons: uh....Attempted murder? princezam: NO, THEY ATE ALL THE FOOD IN THE FRIDGE, BUT WHAT THE FU- parrot: I’ve become a bread crumb dealer to four crows at the lake. They pay me with a bit of everything. Like shiny things, fabric, or pens. But recently they paid me with a 20 dollar bill they found somewhere. So I decided to buy them some more expensive bread. They loved it. So they understand what to do. Give me money. I’ve probably racked up about 200 dollars at this point. Is it morally wrong though, I mean. They’re the ones who steal the money from others. Or perhaps they just have a big pile laying somewhere. Should I keep on doing this? parrot: You sound like the start of a Batman villain.
