May 1st 2023 It rained all day today, I find peace in the rain, I always have idk why exactly, but sometimes I will sit on my roof in the rain and just cry, I've always wanted to die in the rain, like just lay in the road while it pours around me slowly bleeding out, quietly crying, alone, I want to die alone, I don't want anyone to see it or know about it, I wish no one knew I existed, I wish I was just nothing, there is so much beauty in this world, that's what used to keep me going and when that ran dry for me, it was my friends but over time I've noticed all I do is hurt people, I wish I was helpful, I wish I could make someone happy, I'm going to be honest, there is nothing holding me back anymore, I might just jump, and see where it leads me, if I do disappear, please don't burden yourself with my memory, that's my one last wish, I want you all to promise me if I decide to go, you won't let it hurt you, ive hurt enough people already.
