April 2nd Dear Constance, I still remember the first time you told me you loved me. I still remember how I felt that your 178 freckles composed my heart. You were helping me ride my bike without training wheels. You told me that you were there for me. And I believed you. I thought that you could make me insusceptible to pain, that you would turn the ground to jelly. I never thought that you'd be the one to push me down in the future. April 3rd Dear Constance, Do you remember when you were teaching me to drive. I slammed the brakes when I saw that silver car pass in front of us. Your head hit the metal, just barely. "Go on, keep driving," you kept your face still, dabbing at the blood. I couldn't help it. Tears poured out of my eyes as I laid my head on the steering wheel, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Are you hurt?" You glared, "accelerate." Your voice was like lightning, stabbing at my heart. "Accelerate," you grabbed my hair and pulled me up, "you're so useless. Can't you do anything right?" The first time you hit me almost felt like an accident. I can still feel the phantom pain of your hand against my cheek. April 4th Dear Constance, Remember senior year? We were talking about god knows what after dinner. It came out of nowhere. You said you only had a few months left with me. It was one thing to laugh it off, but I stared into your eyes and you aged eighteen years in a second. In a household where tears had a warrant, you stayed ever resilient. But...would you cry the day of my graduation? Would you hold me more gently? And what marked the end? The acceptance letters or the diploma? April 5th Dear Constance, Isn't it funny? You seem to tear me down. Break me. Then you'd tell me you love me. I'm torn between what I should believe. April 6th Dear Constance, I c^t myself again. I wonder what you'd say to that. Would you hit me again? Would you tell me that I should walk it off. Would you dismiss it as if it were a flower petal falling into a sea of flowers? I'm so tired of life Constance. Do you remember that weekend I got my diploma? You stared at me with a strange sort of affection. You told me we could be part of something huge. That we could be bigger than life. April 7th Dear Constance, It's my birthday. April 8th Dear Constance, remember when I got turned into a vampire? You looked at me with fear, trying to cover your bloody hand. And I leapt at you... April 9th Dear Constance, I miss you. April 10th Dear Constance, I visited your gr today. There are dandelions growing all over it. You said your favorite plant was a dandelion. You always told me they were weeds and you liked the fact that not many people knew that. April 11th Dear Constance,
