Hey, its bree again. So...about my mental health...my mom has a HUGE influence on it. Lately, just being around her has felt caged and oppressive. One of my...OK, ima be realistic THE ONLY friend I felt comfortable openly talking to just got back with her ex who also happens to be my friend. Since I want them to be happy, I don't want to break them up, but now she feels like a stranger to me. Everything I was comfortable doing with her isn't "allowed" anymore, just because they are dating. And, her girlfriend will barely let me sit on the other side of the table from her! V is very protective, and I get that, but sometimes it feels excessive. I have problems letting people near my heart, and it feels like T walked out. I told this to one of my other friends, even though I wasn't happy doing that, only because I was crying all class. And you know what she does? She avoids me. She acts like I'm the living plague. It hurts, it really really hurts, because I always listened and cared about her rants even though she KNOWS I don't feel fine with that. And there is literally nothing I can do about it. But the there's also my boyfriends, who I've been dating for about a month now. He's very distant, and my friendships feel more romantic than being around him. I can't decide what I want to do about it because I know he doesn't know how to have a gir.friends, but hello? I'm new to this too! I feel too clingy and I don't want to be bishy or pushy, but it feels like he isn't putting effort into this relationship. AITA? Another thing is that I keep looking at my mirror and looking at my body. Honestly? I hate it. My hair is ugly as ffff, my face is so pimple ridden it belongs in a circus, and my stomach is so fat it sticks out way past my weird aaa breaststroke. And then I look to the side, to my bathroom, and that's when the crying really starts. Because when I look in there? The one repetitive thought in my mind is : how easy it would be to turn on the tub and drown.
