I've been having a lot of emotion in my head, and I've finally let it out of my head (eyes) in my pillow. and i just need to let it all out now.
It's been a while since i last cried, i usually feel like i just get in the way of people, or a third wheel. And in the past few days I've had trouble speaking, and i usually feel like I'm missing out, and feeling like I'm not good enough. especialy when i see other people's stuff, and i start feeling envy and anger instead of the 'well good for you, you deserved it' I've also just been losing a lot of valuable things, and it just has been getting in the way of my sleep, and I've felt tired, trying to do what i can. I've felt like I'm not good for much It's also gotten to the point where i try to act better, but end up failing, and at school it gets worse, like nobody pays attention to me, over a game, i main inkling in smash, and people just start doing mega salt. like even insulting me for being gay. It doesnt make me feel good. it just makes me feel awful. I've also always been told that its my fault all the time. The only thing keeping me occupied from being sad/awful is my parents and fantasies.I like to fantasize a universe where I'm not treated like this, where I'm not hated for who I am, where I'm more confident in my ability, and being better at things other than losing valuables.
