Friends? - Brilliantpaw srp

Instructions

Brill is growing up too fast, it’s so weird for me that she’s an apprentice now already. I wanted to write her new thoughts on becoming an apprentice and her loneliness(oh no sad Bri :(( ).Anyhow, I’ll get to it now. Also note that any third person (described with she/her for Brill) is narration, and second and some first person (I, you and such) is Brill’s internal dialogue. ——————————————————————————— The soft wind of the greenleaf desert night blew softly through the fluffy fur of Brilliantpaw, ruffling it. She sat at just outside the tunnel, breathing in the cool night air. Her gaze was set on the vast expanses of sand and dunes that seemed to be permanently rippled, like a huge body of water. It had a calming effect on the the newly apprenticed cat, though thoughts of her state of loneliness plagued her normally positive mind. She had done a good job of hiding it, of course. Who should know, anyway, if not just her? You’re social normally, right? Why can’t you talk anymore? Introducing yourself used to be so easy. You should be able to do that still, last time I checked. As of now, Bri felt out of place with all the other apprentices, whom she’d never really gotten to know. How odd. She had met her mentor, Downpourrivulet, and liked him so far. Her training was going well. But alas, something was amiss in Brill’s mind, yet she couldn’t put a paw on its exact cause. She was surrounded by so many cats everyday, some even her relatives, but she felt alone nonetheless. Bri had been missing her friend, Chippy, who would still be in the nursery for awhile, until she was apprenticed, anyway. But why wasn’t she comfortable walking up to somebody and starting a conversation anymore? Chip was one of her only true friends, or at least she felt that way. Something was.. Off. You just need to walk up to them. Why is everything so hard now? It seemed like all night she trained, and she only ever slept during the day. Never talked to the other apprentices. Never wanted to, either. But yet, Brilliantpaw only craved companionship, someone she could always trust, who would always be there for her. She refused to believe she needed anyone but herself, yet needed someone just as much. Why can’t you find somebody to trust? Though, you don’t need one, do ya? Deep down, she knew trust took time and effort. She knew she should have friends, but at the same time, rejected it all. I should stay away until I figure this thing out. She looked out on the desert, her eyes and expression so far from placid. She was deep in thought. Windclan territory seemed so never-ending. Staring out at its vastness, a thought slipped its way into her mind through the labyrinthine puzzle that was the many things swirling in her all at once. Her mama, Magnoliaplight, had spoken so fondly of Arisingdawn, her mom from riverclan. How they cared so deeply for each other. How they.. /loved/ each other. Is that what you want? No, definitely not. I don’t want friends except for Chippy. I don’t need anyone. Except maybe Snazzypaw. She doesn’t need any new friends.