~repressed tears of ice [TW: the sad] ~I open the chat and start typing furiously. Instant replies from Nil and Annie, the others seem to be either offline or ignoring me. It would be quite sad if they ignored me, since this is my time of need. My one time of need. ~They know that. ~My hands fly on the keyboard, explaining everything that’s happened in the past month. I thought I could fix it, I really did, but a month’s worth of this [bleep] is too much. I need all the help I can get, and for once I’m admitting it. ~Quinndaledingle003: And you’re telling us this now? By gods, Vee, you know for a fact I would have helped. I’m so sorry you didn’t want to tell me. ~I sigh, both with relief that Quinn’s here and with a deep realization of regret. I know he’s right, I know that I should’ve told him sooner, and I know absolutely could’ve. There were so many times I could’ve told him. ~RelunctantPessimist_27: Im so sorry. I know i should’ve asked earlier but it was for mom’s sake, yknow? She could’ve gone to jail, and for what? Being sad? ~N1L_N0N3_N@D@: If being sad was a criminal offense, we’d all be locked up for a life sentence. Vee, you know we wouldn’t tell anyone. Well, Quinn and I wouldn’t. I dont know about anyone else here. ~Annie, aka @Xxdisturber-of-peacexX (the username is probably a reference, but so is everything they say), retaliates almost instantly. ~Xxdisturber-of-peacexX: im taking that personally, [bleep]. i keep secrets like i keep the kids locked in my basement. very secretive. anyways, your secrets are safe with us, and so are any kids that you would like to be locked in my basement. that kid sister of yours? i could totally handle her. like i handle the kids in my basement. ~ReluctantPessimist_27: haha, duly noted. Dont hand penny to you if i need somebody to babysit. ~I laugh a little bit, forgetting all the [bleep] that is messing me up. For a moment, I forget everything about Mom, Penny, Dad, school, and Ben. For a moment, I forget all the pain, all the loss, and I just exist. God, why can’t I live my life and just exist? Quinn pulls me back to reality with another text, interrupting my train of thought. ~Quinndaledingle003: So. What can I do? And I swear to god Vee, if you say you’re fine, I will give Penny to Annie. I’m not joking. Your sister is in grave danger. ~Just as I’m about to answer him, I realize my eyes are watering, seconds from letting a flood of tears out. Apparently, my hands are shaking too. I take a deep, hollow breath, shutting my eyes tight. I count to ten in my head, muttering “I’m ok” after each one. A tactic I learned in therapy, though it only works sometimes. My vision is blotchy for a couple of seconds after I open my eyes, then completely normal, as if nothing could ever happen to cause one stress. ~ReluctantPessimist_27: I’d say all I need is more time but I think I’m sort of out of that. If any of you guys have food and other basic needs to spare, I’d be f o r e v e r in your debt if you gave me some, one way or another. Also, nil, would you be ok if I applied for the job opening at lil dumpling? I know your mom is sort of big about only asians in working in the restaurant, but do you think there could be some sort of exception? ~N1L_N0N3_N
Well dang. I rarely write sad stories but I've been stuck on a writers block and sad writing is the only way to fix it. If you want more writing on this character, feel free to ask, and you shall (probably) recieve!
