I'm confused, completely sure, and lying to myself all at the same time. This is a hard thing to even think about. My life is easy to understand, it's a simple dance of my own devising. I create the steps and it's followed through. But more recently my steps have become muddled- messy and confusing, like they don't exist anymore. It started with... I don't know when it started, but that warm ember of something, a word that I wasn't used to, after we met yet again under those trees. It's grown and grown into a wildfire- it's hard to keep under control but I manage. Whenever I'm near them it tries to pull new trees into the fire but I resist. I resist making anything known. I'm only his friend. I know this. I am a good friend. I don't think about anything further than being friends. Absolutely. My paws feel numb. My kids are asleep, hopefully, back in the camp as I walk out here, pondering and questioning my decisions. Streaks of light and stars blur the sky that protects my land as I continue my stroll. My eyes catch something in the sand- small star fragments that fell from the beautiful slight overhead. As I approached at a steady pace they were whisked away, hidden by the sand, or blown away into the abyss. I blinked, pausing my approach, right in front of me had been something precious but because I hadn't taken the time or care to reach it, it fell away from me. I understood. This sense of clarity finally has reached me but these words that it whispers to my ears are old. I've known this truth for a long time. But did I ever accept it? Did I ever consider giving it more thought than just a dismissal? No. I didn't even give it a chance. I didn't give it the time of day or effort I should've. But I'm listening- I'm hopeful. I think. To my pounding heart, none of this is a misstep, it's just another part of the dance I don't know yet. This scares me, it makes me terrified that I can't really plan what comes next but I know. I love him. - - - Eeee- very excited for this bit in her life >:] Also 1st person because why not :0 So yes most of my recent projects have been roleplays, yes the gaslighting gatekeeping girlboss Agaric is in love [ shocker I know heh ] and yes I'm planning on posting an art dump relatively soon :eye: Flute Quintet in G major was composed by Romberg Bernhard btw- such a pretty piece. [ I had to skip part of the song to make it shorter so you :points: go listen to the full thing ]
