![Update (Long [maybe] Hiatus)](https://cdn2.scratch.mit.edu/get_image/project/890199167_480x360.png)
TW: Self-hate, self-blame, this may be an extreme depressive episode, I don't even know. So, I am likely not gonna be on scratch much for who knows how long- because my father took away nearly everything I have to use for it. I can't draw or make anything interesting to post, so it isn't gonna happen. I'm also doing this because I need to check in with my mental health. Lots of things happened that I don't want to talk about, so I won't. I am not permanently leaving, just temporarily. For a while, too. Don't think of this as abandoning you, please. I really care about all of you, it's just... I can't spend all my energy thinking about just all of you, I need to make sure before anything as such happens, I desperately need to make sure I know that I don't hate myself. [which isn't really happening, I really hate myself, I blame myself for all the bad stuff that has happened to me because honestly, it truly is my fault] so I really don't wanna go on a full-on hiatus, but it's for my own good. I really am sorry. Please, please, don't blame yourselves, I will come back. I just... can't deal with all of the crap that's happening right now, I need a break from my account. I love and care about all of you, I don't want you all to feel bad! I feel selfish for even doing this! I'm so so sorry, I just can't do this right now. It is nice to talk to others here, I love each and every one of you! I just... I don't even know how to say this. I feel selfish. I feel like I shouldn't exist. Please, please, don't blame yourselves, and don't hurt yourselves over this! I don't want you to do that! I don't want to hurt you! I'm sorry, really, I am! I can't deal with the stuff that's happening right now! Please don't hurt yourselves! I wish I could stay here for as long as I can, but it would just make this even worse, I need to step back so that my mental health is alright, I am desperate for the knowledge that I'm okay! ...But I'm not. I'm pulling out my own hair, which is beginning to turn white from stress. I'm hurting myself by doing all the things that are supposed to calm me down. The stress is overwhelming. ... I just can't do this. That's why I need a break. I need one so that I can recollect myself. I need one so that I can make sure I don't start hurting myself further so that I don't end my own life at the age of a preteen. I need to make myself feel better than I do now so that I can be carefree here once more. So that's why I'm doing this. I'm really sorry. Goodbye for now.
Please spam me, I'd love to respond when I come back. I'll come back on from time to time, just to inform people of what's happening, or to make sure my messages aren't full of stuff that isn't of others talking.
