Tell me if you want an incorrect quote as well!! So far we have bestie boo Raven, me and other bestie boo Izzi and Erin! HEHEH ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Raven: WHY Is THerE BlO0d EVeRYWHerE!? Sage: I may have aggressively poked someone with a kn1fe- Raven: YoU sT@bBEd SomEoNE!? Sage: No, no. Aggressively poked them with a kn1fe. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Raven: With great power comes great need to take a nap. Wake me up later. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Sage: You can de-escalate any situation by simply saying, 'Are we about to kiss?' Sage: Doesn't work for getting out of speeding tickets, by the way. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Sage: When someone points at your black clothes and asks whose funeral it is, having a look around the room and saying 'Haven't decided yet' is typically a good response. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Izzi: Not trying to brag or anything, but I can wake up without an alarm clock now simply due to my crippling and overwhelming anxiety, so... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Raven: you know, if you hold a pokey stick and stand next to Canarystar— people think you are cool! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Sage: Always make sure you have a pokey stick with a little red on it! It’s good for emotional support ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Raven: “the world called you ugly? They said you are weird?” “How come they never think to say, the world thinks a lot of things but they never think they are wrong? Those assumptions were clearly wrong!” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Sage: "You know why stars blow up? Stars blow up because— temperature changes and gravity shifts. They collapse on themselves and shoot across space like gorgeous fireworks…" Raven: "as a certified astrologist and teacher, I’m wondering why you haven’t collapsed on yourself." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Erin: WHAT'S YOUR TYPE /n Sage: Anything, honestly, but nerds especially Erin, desperately, as Sage bleeds out: YOUR BLOOD TYPE Sage: Oh! B positive. Erin: DONT TRY TO CHEER ME UP JUST TELL ME YOUR BLOOD TYPE Sage: ... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Izzi: YOU CHEATED! Sage: So did my dad, but hey, my mom knew it all and even sorted out their wedding, so what's the problem? Raven: I… can confirm that that actually happened. Izzi: …What. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Izzi: Do you mind if I slyly mention that you're single? Sage: Do not do that. Izzi: You won't even notice! Raven, entering: Izzi, you wanted to see me again? Izzi: Sage is single Sage:- ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Izzi: Why does Sage always do the laundry so loudly? Raven: So everyone knows that no one helps them out in the house. Sage, in the distance: * slams the washing machine shut* ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Izzi: I really like this whole 'good guy, bad guy' thing you guys have going on. Sage: It's not an act, it's just that I'm mean and Raven isn't ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Izzi: What time is it? Sage: I don't know; pass me that saxophone and we'll find out Sage: * Plays sax loudly and extremely out of tune* Raven: WHO THE F IS PLAYING THE SAXOPHONE AT TWO IN THE MORNING Sage: It's 2 am ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Izzi: Why is Sage crying on the floor? Raven: They took one of those 'What Remire you?' quizzes. Izzi: And? Raven: They got Erin. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Izzi: I currently have 7 empty notebooks and I have no idea what to put in them. Any suggestions? Raven: Put spaghetti in it. Izzi: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone but you. Erin: Put spaghetti in it. Izzi: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone but you two. Sage: Put spaghetti in it. Izzi: I am no longer taking suggestions. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Izzi: Why are your tongues purple? Raven: We had slushies.I had a blue one. Sage: I had a red one. Izzi: oh Izzi:.. Izzi: OH Erin:... Erin: You drank each other's slushies? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Izzi: Yo is Erin sleeping or dead? Sage: Hopefully dead, I hated their guts. Raven: Yeah, so did I. Erin: Okay first of all, f you- (Jk Erin, yk we love ya) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Izzi: Christmas is cancelled. Erin: You can't cancel a holiday. Izzi: Keep it up, Erin, and you'll lose New Year's too. Erin: What does that mean? Izzi: Sage, take New Year's away from Erin. Sage: Erin, go to your room and dont come out til after New Years. Erin: Wha- Sage and Izzi: GO! Raven: How do you expe- Sage: YOU GO TOO. Raven, confused: Wut. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Izzi: Those darn tall old people. Raven: Darn em' indeed. Erin: Don't worry, they'll be gone soon enough. Sage: * sharpening knife* Yes.Dead. The Squad: ... Sage: Hahaha. Sage: ...Is this self- destructive behaviour?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Sage: I prevented a murder today. Izzi: Really? How'd you do that? Sage: self-control. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Izzi: Man, I only ever see you awake, do you ever shut down or stop running? Sage: Oh, I'm always running Sage: The question is from what ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Sage: Don't stay up all night. Izzi: The last time you got this sleep-deprived, you tried to eat your own shirt. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Sage: I am an expert at identifying birds. Izzi: Okay, what about those ones flying over there? Sage: Yeah, they're all birds. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Izzi: Okay, truth or dare? Sage: Truth Izzi: How many hours have you slept this week? Sage: Sage: ...Dare Izzi: Go to bed. Sage: I don't like this game. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Sage: There is no future. There is no past. Don't you see? Time is simultaneous, an intricately structured jewel that humans insist on viewing one edge at a time, when the whole design is visible in every fact. Izzi: ...All I asked was if you wanted to cut your birthday cake first. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Izzi: Is something burning? Sage: Just my love for you. Izzi: Sage, the toaster is on fire. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Izzi: Can I bother you for a second? Sage: You're always bothering me, but go ahead. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Sage: *Walking into a room* Sorry I'm late... I was... doing things. * Sounds of running footsteps progressively getting louder* Raven: * Out of breath* THEY PUSHED ME DOWN THE F3CK1N' STAIRS. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Izzi: So what's for dinner? Sage, staring at the food they just burnt: Regret. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Sage: Oh just so you know, it's very muggy outside Izzi: Izzi: Sage, I swear, if I step outside and all of our mugs are on the front lawn... Sage: * Sips coffee from bowl* ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Izzi: Oh, fiddlesticks. Sage: Look, I understand this is a tense situation, but let's watch the f3ck1ng language. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Sage: Don't worry, I have a few knives up my sleeve. Izzi: I think you mean cards. Sage, pulling knives out of their sleeves: No, I do not. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Izzi: You're right. Sage: That's... That's an unusual phrase for you.Did you just learn it?~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Izzi: They don't make them like me anymore. I'm the last of my kind. Sage: Thank g0d. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Sage: You're giving me a sticker? Izzi: Not just a sticker. That is a sticker of a kitty saying “me-wow!” Sage: I'm not a preschooler. Izzi: Fine, I'll take it back Sage: I earned this, back off! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Izzi: Fitness tip: never stop pushing yourself. Some say 8 hours of sleep is enough. Why not keep going? Why not 9? Why not 10? Strive for greatness. Sage: Next time you're working out do 15 push ups instead of 10. Run 3 miles instead of 2. Eat a whole cake instead of just a slice.Burn your ex's house down.You can do it.I believe in you. Raven: There were so many mixed messages in that I can't- ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Izzi: We need a distraction. Sage: Is anyone here good at jumping up and down and making weird noises? Raven, whispering: My time has come ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Sage: I woke up and chose VIOLENCE. I WILL COMMIT ARSON AND BURN EVERYTHING TO THE GROUND!!! I AM ANGRY- Raven: Awwww, you're so adorable! Give me a hug~ Sage: Wh- What? NO, YOURE SUPPOSED TO BE SCARED OF ME! TREMBLE BEFORE MY WRATH- Izzi, recording: This is so cute. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Raven: Are you sure this is the right direction? Izzi: Certainly, I'm as sure as I am honest! Sage: In that case, we're definitely lost. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Izzi, to Sage: My life is in the hands of an idiot! Sage, motioning to themself and Raven: No no no no no, TWO idiots! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Izzi: Sage and I were crossing the street, and this dude drove by and honked at us Raven: * Sighing * What did Sage do? Izzi: They chased him to the next red light, then reached into his window and... Sage: Who wants a steering wheel? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Izzi: Sage, I am questioning your sanity... Raven: I never questioned it, I knew their sanity was missing from the start. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Izzi: Look at the buns on that guy! Sage: *lying on the floor, covered in hamburger buns* Raven:: This is the comedy police! The joke's too funny! Izzi:: I'm not going back to jail! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Contact me if you want to be added!!!
