So. There's a lot of things happening right now and I need to figure out where to start. Basically, I like my best friend. And I obvi can't tell her bc I really don't want to be friendzoned by the only person in the world who gets me. Also, I really don't think either of us is ready for more than friendships. But there's this one girl- we were friends since second grade, and then at the end of 5th grade- i don't know what happened. She started bullying me, hurting me, both physically and mentally, spreading rumors about me, and just being a flat-out horrible person. In 6th grade, she pretended it had never happened. I had d3pression for a year. I did self-harm, told myself I wasn't and would never be good enough, and wanted to do some pretty permanent things about my life. I still believe some of it. But not as much as I used to. And I thought that I was over her, that this year, it would be different... One of my old friends made a game of guessing my crush. I didn't mind bc it was kinda funny hearing her guess a bunch of random boys from the football team (although idk what she thinks my taste is like.) It was fine until she got more of her friends into it, and it wasn't much of a game anymore. They surrounded me and started pressuring me into telling them. And one of them was her. I gave into peer pressure and admitted it was a girl, and they started naming random girls I hung out with (not many.) And then they said her name, and ig my face got red (as red as chocolate-colored skin can get) because today, the girl who has the locker next to me showed me her texts. The text from my fake-friend said "I heard that Iris likes (my crush's name)" And now I made things between me and my crush super awkward because i kinda cried a bit during band (she sits next to me) and she asked what was wrong. Obviously I couldn't tell her. at some point, word will get round and she'll find out. I really don't know what to do. Your support means everything, guys. thanks so much <3 ~Iris
I don't want to use names. ik that makes it kinda hard to understand, but no matter what they do to me, i would never betray anyone's privacy. I had to get it all out somewhere. Thanks for listening (or reading, whatever)
