hello! first off, thank you for taking time out of your day to read this - that means a lot to me <3 this was written for my creative writing class - a course that has managed to push me out of my comfort zone in the best ways possible. this was my first time writing a memoir, and those who stayed by me along the way (love you guys) witnessed the mental hoops i stumbled through in trying to put this together - the dialogue requirement was evil :'D but hey here we are! i ended up telling the story of a time similar to the experience of writing my memoir, where the writing process had frozen me over - writing my entry for the july 2023 writing competition! i still can't perfectly phrase the immense load that piece did for me, but reliving that experience was a well-served reminder to the lessons i shouldn't forget. a disclaimer that while the feelings, thoughts, and overall process of events here are truthful, some dialogue and portrayals were distorted for the sake of making my creative writing teacher not ask too many questions about swc xD thank you to sun, alia, moonsy, reese, cj, elfie, alana, and recca for critiquing my memoir many many times, and cheering me up in moments of doubt - i can always count on you guys <3 and to all my fellow perfectionists out there - i hope this gives you something to think about ✨
credits: ✒ memoir written by me (@luna-lovegood-lol) ✒ slides designed in canva ✒ music - idea 22 by gibran alcocer in the hope of open hands, if you'd like to read it - https://scratch.mit.edu/projects/878911978/ it'd be lovely if you read through my memoir first before coming to this part! but up to you, really ;) idealism is a funny subject - i've never considered myself an idealist. normally, i'm too much of a cynic for that, but writing is the one place where i can truly dream. the issue then was that i mainly became idealistic about myself, and the things i should have been capable of accomplishing. i wanted to write the most perfect things, in the most perfect ways - free and effortlessly. thing was, i was so brutal on myself that i couldn't be free. i’m still an idealist about my writing - that mindset isn’t something you ever really lose. but i’ve learned how to take first steps without fear and trust that i will find a way to make it true to me. i’ve learned to love and embrace my own style, imperfect as it may be, and appreciate writing the first drafts and the lack of hesitation i can have in them. even if the idea still ties knots with my brain sometimes :') i also know for a fact that i'm not the only person out there who chronically strives for perfection! so, if someone like me is reading this, i hope you know we were never meant to be perfect - and it's okay to let go for the sake of enjoying yourself along the ride. i love you, and you should too <33
