Im sorry...

Instructions

This is basically venting so if you don't want to read, thats good for you. So I have a question... Lately I’ve been thinking like You Don’t Matter, no one even cares about you, just drop off the face of the earth, you can’t do anything right…. Like- I speak for the Air and have No Free will of my own…. Should I just Leave? Now here comes the vent And ya know... im starting to think about a lot of things lately. On the bus this morning, I kept thinking about things and memories that I made in the past... and it hurts every day... I even ended up crying a bit. Yeah, I know... im pathetic. And I thought my life was toxic... when im the toxic one. I unintentionally hurt people without me even knowing... and because of that, ive lost a very important person and thats all I can think about... besides another thing. But I can understand... but maybe its because im just surrounded with it all. I hurt both at home because of my family issues and drama at school... and that might be why im like this... maybe. But I keep getting frustrated with myself and the situation and I question what I should do... I don't know. I never know. I just see myself as a burden that carries burdens... "see me as a weapon and nothing more." And thats why I do my best to disregard my feelings as a whole. I honestly think that feeling nothing at all is better than feeling pain. "Maybe these thoughts are my own form of insanity." But its whatever. I just want to know what yall think and I would like to hear your opinion cuz im honestly not doin so well... I feel like im getting to be beyond repaired since I have to cope enough just to move on with my day while continuously getting beat down in the dirt 24/7. And its like im used to that so much and thats why I don't want to care about my feelings anymore... so I don't feel pain. Though at this rate, it might be impossible. And im grateful for the people that have comforted and listened to me while on here... I just want to apologize. The main reason is that I easily forget about the comfort of a person because I get surrounded with all of the negativity again so its easy for me to forget... either that, or if someone is giving me a compliment and I just don't believe it and etc I guess So yeah, I might add more if I feel like it but thats the gist "If it doesn't suit me, then why show me the light? Why give me hope?" "Sorry, please excuse me for my mess My heart's been pouring through my chest I fell through corridors of broken floors I'm sorry that I left Fell asleep in my new bed I can't feel happy in my head I see two moons and nothing more I close my door, I'm left with less" - BoyWithUke (Two Moons)