happiness.-VENT

Instructions

it is easy to spread happiness. it is easier to smile then to frown. that is what they all say. heyo. if you are new here i am mommasboy12-but you can call me cleo. i am a(terrible) artist who literally loves cartoons. i am not the best person in the mental health field. that is what i am here to talk about. this is a vent post. i have gone through some things-let me explain. it all started when my mom got cancer. i mean, my parents have been separated most my life. but from there, it all went downhill. my mother got stage 4 br3a#t cancer. she has a terrible job with terrible people. then, my (ex)friend told me they didn’t want to be friends anymore. i was devastated. little did i know the same thing would happen over and over again in my life, but we will get into that later. i then got abused. se❌ua]]y abused. by my moms ex. that wasnt the greatest. i moved, by force. halfway across the country away from everything i knew, my old friends and my old life and my mother left behind. i constantly felt criticized by my friends and like i was doing less than them. i needed to be better. my friends dumped me, 2 of them. one of them came back. the other did not. apparently one of the friends lied about me to one. later, the other friend did the same exact thing. another friend, in a new place, did the same exact thing. after i accepted it, they came back as well. i pondered if something was and still is wrong with me. i started to wonder about supaside(iykyk). i c*t myself. constantly hoping to feel something other then depression. i have a scar from an intense one. i keep on thinking of doing it, every…every day. but no. i have to be a role model for my young brother. i have to deal with this in silence. i have to be held to a high standard and stay there even though i have things going on people wouldn’t even believe for a person my age. it isnt fair, and i am not going to be silent any longer. please. save me. save me from this torture, since my father beats me as well. (with the chancla, belt, brush, fists, etc.) help, this is a cry for help, i need it too badly.