Hey guys. This is the closure to my account, and my depart from scratch to try and patch up my life. I "left" scratch a couple months ago. I felt awful. My life was in pieces, day after day I was doing nothing, feeling nothing but emptiness and sadness, and I felt like I had to check scratch every second. It was a really bad time for me. I'm still in the deep end. I'm not doing good mentally, physically, or anywhere, really. My friends are super supportive, but my parents, I feel like never support me in any way or make me feel valued, even after I've been diagnosed. I suffer from severe depression, anxiety, OCD, ADHD, and tourretes [not so severe tourretes]. My grandparents [both] just recently died and I had a awful two months there. Straightforward to everyone: My life fell apart. I wasn't happy. My friends left me, I changed schools, made new friends, and I felt for a bit I finally had some shoulders to cry on. Shouldn't have taken things for granted. I'm the middle child. My parents expect everything perfect to be done by my older sister, and I'm just the runner-up. I get straight-A's? Great. Who cares? Not like I worked my head off, staying up late, working for good grades after being mentally sick for three weeks, out of school. My little sister is the baby of the family, and I'm being crushed at all sides, the breath taken away from me. And I can't do it anymore, I just can't do it. I can talk to my friends, yes, but my family? No. My mom is so critical to me- every time she tells me I'm not doing it right, I'm a disappointment or how dare I get angry? It's like an alarm blaring in your ears in the morning, as all you can think is "make it stop, make it stop, make everything go away and let me sleep for five more minutes." But it didn't stop, and I kept getting worse. So bad I was hospitalized, and my parents finally came to their senses and I was diagnosed. After about two weeks, I came home, not even close to better, but not in the catastrophic zone anymore. Something was still out of place, though. I still felt guilty in some way, and I came across some drawings of my TFCRP character, Rushingdawn, which I didn't get one chance to roleplay when I was in the hospital, because apparently I was inactive. Well, Scratch, TFCRP, here's what I'm saying to you: People have LIVES. Lives that got so messed up for me in this stupid roleplay. Lives that you make stupid rules for on a stupid website. And there are more things to it. "Admins" and "CEO's" and high ranks-- who the heck cares!? We're all just people, with real feelings and emotions and pain. I saw a new open litter saying a cat was too "pink". Wow, so important in a huge roleplay you had to go and bother someone having fun? Incredible on what people do on here. These are the only admins I have EVER seen be kind and collective or actually do some things nice rather than be inactive or delayed or whatever: , , , , , , . That's it. So actually listen to my message, and understand things. But this is my closure, this is the end of my time here on scratch. I wish it could have been better, but it wasn't. And I know nobody visits my profile and nobody really cares about this, but why do I even care. This is my depart. My closure. Goodnight. The Eternal Depart.
