Venting to y'all

Instructions

There's something going on in my life, and I need to talk about it. I'm sure some of y'all think my life is all sunshine and rainbows because I appear to be happy and cheerful online. My life is the complete opposite. I deal with severe depression. My mom has been trying to get me into therapy, but nothing has been working. A lot of people see me as a fun, weird, and sometimes idiotic person with a wild (and sometimes scary) personality irl. That's just a mask I put over everything inside. But, that's not what I came here to talk about. I am making this to tell you something that kept me sobbing for hours. I only stopped crying when I turned on some calming music and decided to make this. I'm still really upset. So, I was having a really fun time with some friends at an event at my church. I was teaching someone piano. Then, my dad came to pick me up. I got in the car and started playing some cringy music. My dad was cringing so hard. Then, I stopped the music and somehow got onto a more serious topic with my dad. The problems I was having with my religion. I told him how I was struggling to believe in god and how I didn't know what to believe, and what I wanted to believe in. I told my dad how I didn't know if I even wanted to be Christian at all. He got frustrated and said I was wrong. He said Christianity is scientifically proven to be right, and if I don't believe in it, my soul could be (we'll use the word 'sent' here) to the underworld. I tried to tell him that he could be wrong, but he insisted that all other religions are wrong and that I should be Christian if I wanted to go to Heaven. (I strongly disagree with him. We are human, so we don't know which religions are correct if any. I am very accepting of all religions, and I am VERY sorry if this offends anyone. I do not mean it that way at all.) So, we kept arguing, and I realized that I couldn't talk to my dad. He's always been disapproving and unaccepting of who I am. He wants to shape who I am like I am a piece of clay meant for molding. I am a human being, I am myself. I don't understand why he can't accept that. I've already had many conversations about this with my mom and she's very understanding and helpful. She always talks to me and gives me advice. I expected the conversation with my dad to go similarly. I should've known it wouldn't. My dad already thinks he knows everything about me and knows very little. I should've known he wouldn't be accepting of who I am. If anyone has advice on what to do, please tell me. I could probably use some advice. If you read all of this, thank you.