Hey guys, so a lot has happened... I'm not one to take breaks or hiatus' but I think I may need to this time for many reasons, and I don't know how long I'll be gone. I know that I'm not active posting-wise on here normally, but I may only occasionally check messages and etc So I'm gonna stop beating around the bush and explain 1. School I have been constantly swarmed with schoolwork and stress. While constantly having homework, I am missing tons of school due to medical reasons so I have to make up work on top of doing current work. Being a junior, work at my school is already high-level on top of an AP Psychology class I'm in and, once again, missing school. I honestly have barely drawn because of this, and even if I can, it's not for long. The weekends are filled with studying and catching up on work. I don't remember the last time I had a full weekend with nothing to do. Even this Thanksgiving break, which I had the whole week off, I have only gotten today off, although this was more due to me cleaning and still recovering from medical stuff. 2. Medical Issues As I've addressed already, medical issues and medical-related events have arise. As I was a kid, I've always known I had dental issues that needed fixed. Dental X-rays have always shown that my teeth never have been cooperative, and that my upper-left canine tooth was going to collide with my other front teeth. But, we were able to put it off until my teenage years. My mom finally took me to an orthodontist about a few months ago and we were able to get a full-scan of my mouth and figured out that the canine tooth is actually behind my front teeth, and won't collide with my front teeth. So, we scheduled an appointment to get my braces on. I had to get actual braces rather than Invisalign due to having to get stuff done to help my canine tooth - which the weird thing with the tooth is called "an impact tooth" or smth like that. Either way, stuff was looking up. I was able to get my braces on and adjust rather easily. Although the first few days, the insides of my mouth did hurt and I did get a bit of gender dysphoria due to my different appearance. But I was able to adjust fine after a week. The next step, surgery. We had to get surgery for the impact tooth and 2 of my upper back teeth on both sides since they didn't want to move. The whole surgery was taking the baby tooth out, drilling a whole to the adult tooth, and attaching a small chain to it. Over time, the chain would pull the tooth down. It would be slow and take months, so mostly painless. I was supposed to get my surgery on November 15th and taking the rest of the week off to recover from it. Although nerve-racking, I was ready for the surgery itself. However, nothing went by the original plan. I went in and sat down for the surgery, and everything was going smoothly. Until the IV. They attempted to put the IV in a total of 4 times, and failed up until the 4th time. Obviously it hurt, so I was crying. I was also hyperventilating at extreme levels. Finally, they get the IV in and start pumping anesthesia and I drift off to sleep. Then I wake up in the recovery room and drift in and out until I'm in the car with my mom. I find out in the recovery room that they didn't do the surgery, as a matter of fact, they didn't even start it. Apparently my heart beat would occasionally jump, even when I was relaxed and fully asleep. So they never did the surgery in case something could go wrong. Obviously I was upset, they attempted the IV 4 times and it would take multiple days for the anesthesia to fully leave my system, just for them to not have done the surgery. We were required to get an EKG at a hospital before I tried to go in for the surgery again. So we scheduled one for the next day. I spent most of that first day crying and barely aware, unable to walk or stand for long periods. I found out that I've always had an issue with crying even since I was 1, that I would extremely hyperventilate and, when I was younger, faint or pass out. I didn't know I had this issue before, let alone passing out due to crying. We went the next day to get the EKG done, in which I was worn out by the time we got there. We spent more time waiting for the doctor, so I was just on Duolingo while I waited. The EKG didn't take long, and we got the results later. We found out that I have PACs and an irregular abnormal heartbeat or smth like that (I forgot what it exactly was called). Either way, I have an extra heartbeat. Something about not having enough blood in the heart, so it beats another time to get it flowing.
<Continued from above> So because of this, my anxiety has been at high levels, probably higher levels than it has ever been. I'm stuck in this limbo of not knowing what's going on, feeling like I want to cry every two seconds. So because of all of this, I want to take break from everything: Scratch and all social media. I'm not leaving, don't think that's what's happening. I'm simply taking a break, just trying to figure my medical stuff out. I want to thank everyone for being there and just existing. -Thank you to my followers. Whether you were there since @Nyancats555 or @XMaskedCharmX or just liked my art and followed, I want to thank you for checking out my account and even sparing a glance at my art -You, the one reading this. I want to thank you for taking time out of your day to read this super long message. You could've spent this time somewhere else, but you spent it reading something I wrote, so thank you -My best friend, Adrian. He may not have an account on here, or at least one he uses, but it doesn't mean I can't thank him. He's been there no matter what. He's been the ground to my stressful moments and the water to my fire. He's listened to my long rants and even if he believes he's not the best at comforting, he still tries his hardest, and I thank him so much for that and just simply existing - @LyndsTheStar . I want to thank them for being there for me too. We talk occasionally on other platforms when we find the time, but even just checking in on each other makes my day. You're an amazing person and so nice and I hope to still chat with you through my hiatus. So once again, thank you for existing in my life and just simply existing - @shadow_cin . It's so fun to chat with you, even if it's not often. I check in with your account often, just like with Lynds. You're an amazing person and I always love to chat with you and hear about the stuff going on with you. Thank you for existing in general and my life - @Snowinq_Falls . Once again, even though we only occasionally chat and exchange art, it's so fun to check up on you and talk about stuff. You're an amazing person and deserve everything. It really makes my day to get those few moments to chat with you. Thank you for being there and thank you for existing -And anyone else. There's too many people to name here that I want to thank, but you probably know who you are. Thank you all, for both existing in my life and existing in general Also, I promise I didn't do this whole "thank you" message because Thanksgiving is tomorrow, I realized it was tomorrow half-way through writing. I just simply wanted to thank everyone before my hiatus :) I still may check my messages, but it'll be erratic and occasional. I'll be sure to post that I'm back when I'm ready to. Once again, thank you all for being there and reading all of this. I hope everyone has a great holiday break and great holidays in general and I hope to see you all in the future :)
