For @criminal-intent 236 words- after subtracting the note, quote, and smiles :) quick heads up before I start: I write these mostly while reading, to show my reactions as the story progresses- so if anything doesn’t make sense to me in the beginning, it may make total sense later on :) right off the bat I love the style of the beginning here! and I love the phrasing of a yawn attacking her- both the hilarious visual as well as the annoyance it conveys. Small thing here, when Mulder comes in the door- I was picturing a room in a hotel and got confused about there being a door straight outside, but now that I think of it, a motel is not the same thing as a hotel lol. Maybe a small mention when the door opens about the outdoors being visible could help with the connection there :) The sound of the car engine and the fogged windshield are both great descriptions while fitting with the straight to the point style- I think another bit of description like that would fit well around “he drove off without a word,” since we don’t really know what the area around is like when they start driving. Even tiny hints like the others give enough impression to paint a whole picture :) And for the section in Notes & Credits, it pulled me right in- as someone who loves staring at the night sky myself, this is lovely! I have not read/watched the thing this is a fanfic of, but if this were the first chapter of a book (or longer fanfic) I would absolutely keep reading. I would love to learn more about these characters and their relationship, what’s given in this short length is intriguing :)
