(Sorry I use the Instructions too and make this inconvenient to read, Scratch said my description was too long. >:[) (Also, this will probably be my last project of 2023. I don't think I can get Thanksforgetting out in literally 2 days, so I decided to release this early, which is why some parts of the description may be outdated, lol. I hope you enjoy it still!) SONG: Mother Mother - It's Alright (As I heard someone in the comments of the music video, this is the perfect song for a mental breakdown) Welp, 2023 is officially going to be over tomorrow. 2024 is going to be a major year. I turn 14. My account turns 5. I start high school. Stuff like that. Some of 2022 and 2023 has been very sentimental to me, due to it's when I really realized what mental health and illness was. Starting to investigate and question my own behavior, even some of my sexuality (don't ask), and analyzing other actions. Weather or not I have a mental illness is beyond me. It could either be the teen angst hormones of puberty taking over, or something I've never noticed til now. I'll explore more indepth in my full Scratch career and how it's impacted my mental health in my 5 year anniversary coming up in exactly a week, but for now here's a general thought of how I've been throughout 2022 and 2023, and what I think I'll be of 2024. Now, if you know me for 5 milliseconds, you know I have a raging hatred of my past self, especially of 2019 - 2022. Of course everyone cringes at their past selves, but me? I just loathe it. ESPECIALLY WHEN I WAS ELLEVEN. I feel when I was 11 it's when I realized there's more to the internet, which considering how young I was, caused me to act less than superb. The thing I was especially infamous of when I was 11 were my petty fights with users @mikefork and @jeehu. We're both good now, and I actually like Mike's content a lot. But still, I often reflect and think of what I could've done differently during 2021 and 2022. It kinda makes me ashamed and disappointed. I've done lots of crappy things, and it is hard to move on, even though I know I am not that person anymore. The two things I did in 2021 especially were joining a website called Qualitipedia and starting to use GameJolt and DISCARD (ugh). 6th grader on websites directed to teenagers, I just set it up for failure. My brain just kinda drifts and worries if anyone really likes me anymore. I also began Scratch School that year, and lemme just say it: I don't like what Scratch School was of in May 2021 - Oct 2022. It was in development hell for way too long, was over ambitious for an 11 year old, and was just infuriating.
12 year old me is a slightly better person, especially starting late 2022. But still, summer and fall of 2022 was...weird. My computer keyboard/mouse broke, my family began to move, and I started 7th grade. I barely used GameJolt or DISCARD at that point, my rare projects during that time kept getting deleted, and Qualitipedia eventually closed down (for the better, I hate it nowadays). Also, my 2019 friend @BickyTV returned as @OttoTV, but due to all the stresses at the moment, including the high procastination on Scratch School, I just didn't care about him. I ignored him, mistreated him, didn't like him anymore. Late 2022 was a very solemn period to say, and it might've ruined 2023 for me. However, as my mental health and confidence boosted, as I adjusted to all the new things (and my technology got fixed) I eventually found myself the ability to reboot Scratch School, and...I think we know how that went. :) Plus, I found myself able to talk more on those websites, getting myself out, being able to make more animations for you guys, and even at school I managed to do counseling (which I had done since 3rd grade, tho tbh I don't know the original reason why). Spring was very joyful, to say at least. I turned 13, and knew there'd be even more mental adventures. There'd probably be a lot of mental conflicts, meltdowns, confusion, talking, etc. And I'm still not fully finished with it. May I admit, I'm writing this early, in late Nov and not in Dec? Sorry sorry- I just wanted to make a project like this early. Summer came and went this year. During that some more stuff that boosted my confidence hapepned. I made TNAK (tho I'm still waiting to get off my lazy behind and update it), made a BIG ANIMATION (Khalil Beats The Heat) that got 4th place in TSAC, and worked on more stuff. Of course, there was burnout and mental conflicts of if I should finish my projects. But for every burnout there's a cleanup, and right now, I'm working on my next big animation (Thanksforgetting), so this description is going to be outdated. However, I'm still keeping this cuz...cuz why not honestly? My friends are still supporting me, and tbh, I can't wait to release this project. I feel it'll give some inside thoughts to the world for you guys to give some input on. So, my 2023 adventures are over, but that doesn't mean my adventures are over. Who knows what mental health thoughts 2024 will give me? Even more burnout? Worrying about friends? Panicking over my Scratch career? Who knows. But for now, I'm somewhat happy and mad at the same time, mad because of how...weird the world is. I actually wrote a document at some point expressing all those frustrating thoughts, though of course I don't feel comfortable sharing it with you guys. Who knows, maybe I'll send it to you in the future. But even with all, there's still something bright in the depressing world. Anyway, my description is too long. See you in a week! - 97Scratch, 2023
