"under pink-tinted light, oli reached the rooftop . . . then a soft smile spread across his face as he spotted them, in the distance, but fast approaching on the wind. the picnic would be tonight, then. perfect." this opening really shows how light, happy and almost surreal everything is—i'm assuming that's the mood you went for, because comes across throughout the piece. "he was well into the educated years, and they first met when he couldn’t yet speak—they were always the same. " there is a fairytale quality to this that continues throughout the piece, so well done with that. that being said, this seems slightly dissonant with the next paragraph, that implies they've been close friends / equals; from this line i get more of a mentor/mentee relationship; the end definitely skews it towards their being close friends, so you might want to edit this so there's less of a cinderella & fairy godparent feel. "and it is obvious, to you, to me..." until this section, i was under the impression that the narrator was not its own character and the story was in third person limited; i think that having the narrator speak directly to the reader works very well with the story, so weaving the direct address into the first section would make it more consistent. "'oh silly,' he recited, so many memories in those words. 'of course.'" i think this says more about their friendship then pages of description; it's unique in that it's more of a commonplace thing to say, but it seems to have a special meaning here. i definitely feel that this is a ritual they've gone through over the years. "under a perfect peach sky..." the food metaphors are so fitting given the list of jams and desserts earlier in the piece! it's a lovely echo, and i think it also emphasises how perpetual their friendship and the picnics are. on the whole, i really enjoyed reading this, and i think you succeeded with the mood you were trying to create! well done <33
