“Once, my father came home and found me in front of a roaring fire. That made my father very mad, as we didn’t have a fireplace. “Your mother has been with us for 20 years,” said John. “Isn’t it time she got a place of her own?” “My mother?” replied Helen. “I thought she was your mother.” Why don’t pirates take a shower before they walk the plank? They just wash up on shore. In Denver, the members of a Sunday-school class were asked to set down their favorite biblical truths. One youngster laboriously printed: “Do one to others as others do one to you.” According to unofficial sources, a new simplified income-tax form contains only four lines: 1. What was your income for the year? 2. What were your expenses? 3. How much have you left? 4. Send it in. —The Link One of the oddities of Wall Street is that it is the dealer and not the customer who is called broker. A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and says, “Hey, they named a drink after you!” “Really?” replies the grasshopper. “There’s a drink named Stan?” A Hollywood hostess, giving instructions to a new maid just before a party, cautioned: “Now remember, Marie, when you serve my guests, don’t wear any jewelry.” “I haven’t anything valuable, madam,” answered the maid. “But thanks for the warning just the same.” little Johnny sees his grandpa smoking and he asked can I join his grandpa says can your pepe reach your butt yet Johnny says no then grandpa says then your not old enough , next day little Johnny sees his grandpa drinking Johnny say can I drink with you grandpa, grandpa says can your Pepe reach your butt yet.. Johnny says no grandpa says then your not old enough , the next day grandpa sees little Johnny eating cookies grandpa says can I eat some cookies with you and little Johnny says can your Pepe reach your butt yet grandpa says it sure can.. little Johnny says then go f yourself
