.* + | ʙʀɪɴɢɪɴ' ʙᴀᴄᴋ ᴄʜʀɪsᴛᴍᴀs! | + *.

Notes & Credits

.* + | ʟʏʀɪᴄs | + *. ᴘᴀʀᴛ 1 | “Look - real trees are trending downward, your sales continue slipping. They destroyed your bottom lines with plastic pines and same-day shipping.” ᴘᴀʀᴛ 2 | “Well, you’ve got the better product, but if you wanna win. You gotta study human nature. All those interested? Lean in.” ᴘᴀʀᴛ 3 | “People are 1; Lazy! We only care about ourselves. Your competition knows this, so their crap flies off the shelves.” ᴘᴀʀᴛ 4 | “But we’re also 2; Desperate! To feel good and smart and right. And that’s what you have to harness, if you wanna win this fight.” ᴘᴀʀᴛ 5 | “See what you’re really selling is the way things oughta be. So your pitch becomes compelling, selling more than just a tree.” ᴘᴀʀᴛ 6 | “It’s a symbol of your values, it’s your ethics and your cause. You can either be fake, like the trees they make, or take a stand for Santa Claus!” ᴘᴀʀᴛ 7 | “We’re bringing back Christmas, we’re bringing back cheer. We’re bring back cozy nights, those twinkly lights, the glow of yesteryear!” ᴘᴀʀᴛ 8 | “Now it’s some slight manipulation, but it’s what we gotta do. See we need some confrontation, or your message won’t get through.” ᴘᴀʀᴛ 9 | “We’re bringing back decency! We’re bringing back Christmas, and that means the piney scent of a real authentic tree.” ᴘᴀʀᴛ 10 | “Oh it would be sure; Simple! To boost your market share. We’d rebrand you as “nostalgic”, tell your customers you “care”.” ᴘᴀʀᴛ 11 | “But the world is what?; Tribal! So if you want your sales to soar. It’s not enough for folks to love you, they gotta hate your rivals more.” ᴘᴀʀᴛ 12 | “As an expert my advice is feed that hate ‘cause hate is strong. Folks’ll gladly pay your prices, to prove those Christmas-killers wrong!” ᴘᴀʀᴛ 12.5 | “(We’re bringing back Christmas!) And all the joy that we’ve lost! (We’re bringing it back!)” ᴘᴀʀᴛ 13 | “Every Facebook lovin’ boomer wants to fight a culture war. So tell your core consumer what the hell they’re fightin’ for.” ᴘᴀʀᴛ 14 | “A fight for morality! We’re bringing back Christmas, and it’s not coming back with some manufactured tree.” ᴘᴀʀᴛ 15 | “I’m talking a living tree, in your living room. As I reach up to place the angel on top, I look out my window and I see my neighbor.” ᴘᴀʀᴛ 16 | “Doug. ‘Cross the street, snapping together his artificial tree. Easy peasy. Poor, lazy, deplorable Doug.” ᴘᴀʀᴛ 17 | “Who cares more about convenience than the happiness and respect of his town, of his country, of our sacred holiday!” ᴘᴀʀᴛ 18 | (Instrumental) ᴘᴀʀᴛ 19 | (Instrumental) ᴘᴀʀᴛ 20 | “I’m talking nativities and sweet baby Jeez. Fat honey hams, Mariah Carey jams.” ᴘᴀʀᴛ 21 | ““Feliz Navidad” and the birth of our God! (Gathered ‘round with our families!)” ᴘᴀʀᴛ 22 | “We’re bringing back Christmas! (We’re bringing back Christmas!) Plus a ton of cash.” ᴘᴀʀᴛ 23 (Finale) | “From some good old fashioned trees! (Oh, the cozy glow of yesteryear! All the twinkly lights and all the cheer!)” ᴘᴀʀᴛ 24 (Finale) | “We’re bringing back Christmas! (We’re bringing back Christmas! Ah!)” .* + | ᴄʀᴇᴅɪᴛs | + *. TN || @bunnytale song || “Bringin’ Back Christmas” (Ryan Reynolds) - Spirited - - + - -