FRAGMENT I memento falsitas chirrup's dream sequence, [everything is wrapped with falsity.] ... the crows gather above, a poet of mistletoe that tangles one's sanity. perhaps it links from one to another to grant success in a story's birth. ⠀⠀but what is required for that to be achieved is killing. to the poor fringed iris that's planted deep in her heart, perhaps you were the one in the bullet's eye. as it impatiently waits to strike a chance. but everything is wrapped with falsity, nothing can tell if it's already withered. ⠀ maybe it's too late. the sandy dunes that was flared beneath the blazing sun, something she swore was the icon of her old home– it all seemed fake like everything was. all that blankets the earth's surface in purrs vision appears pale somehow. maybe it dissapeared. maybe the snow took over, a deep sensation of cold and blithering ice in the moon's shelter that defeated warmth. since when did the moonlight ever feel this bitter, the sounds of nothing but heartbeats befriend it aswell? it was freezing. like there was nothing the feline could feel at the scene; numb. everything is so numb. the smoky breaths that would easily be visible in the wintry season arrive as they were, getting funnier and unsteady by minutes. but wasn't it /still/ leaf-fall? is she unaware of what time the world is in now? but everything is wrapped with falsity, is time even moving? oh for [ERROR]'s sake, everything feels like it's crumbling apart, again, and again, once more. but at the same time had there be anything visible to purr to prove this all, she would've already fainted. circles and circles, breaking into thousand scribbles and unidentified sketches. a transparent description that suffocates the hopeless candid in her sleep, like smoke filling in purrs lungs. unable to breathe the true air of this world, if it isn't contaminated already. unfortunately in her broken eyes, it already is. it always was. she arrived in this world, dressed in the words of woe and destructed self-description that formed off her inability to be stable. if only she had a weapon– the will to move herself out of this filth-driven route of her life, things could be a little better. a little. ⠀⠀declaring peace and wanting peace, wanting everything to be just okay. but everything is wrapped with falsity, is it possible to feel okay? all eyes around you, chirrup! you who never felt like you were able to fit in and be a functioning member of society. you who focus on the spotlight of others, what an insanely driven mindset you have that centers around what words would others pick in judgement. ⠀in judgement of who you are, ⠀the potential that you'd have to build in order to be ⠀loved. ⠀in order to be appreciated. ⠀in order to be recognized. like paws are all directed at you, they're all outstretched with claws that want you gone. leaving the enviroment that makes you feel like so doesn't help in the slightest, and the poor intelligence you own in picking choices leads to a staircase lowering down to the pits of vain. coldness that surrounds you, it's going to be endless, isn't it? warmth and comfort you long deprived for wouldn't be eternal. ⠀⠀would it be temporary, even? would it be possible to reach with the body you own? with the soul of the [ERROR] you mistitled yourself as? all eyes around you, chirrup! fall as deep as you want, more ⠀and more ⠀⠀⠀and more ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀and more. more until you suffocate under the dirt you scratch by yourself. more until you feel strangled with the paws of unexistent idealization that /they/ were all there. scratching the dirt, the stone and the earth below with rage was your job. without you realizing, walking on thin ice everyday was one step away from sabotage. ⠀⠀⠀you led yourself to what you are now. but the tip of your claws aren't as sharp as the stinging weight that floats in your chest. you just want to fall. to have a shoulder to cry on, ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀to have ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀S ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀O ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀M ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀E ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀O ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀N ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀E. but that would simply be ridicilous wishes the [ERROR] above wouldn't grant you. nothing would grant you what you want, ⠀⠀what you desire. nothing to reel you back from below zero. otherwise this path of life that you despise... a frown would be formed within it. (LO)L (笑) LO (笑)(笑)(笑)L /Merry bad end!/ ⠀⠀⠀⠀(LOL) (LOL) (笑) (笑)(笑)(LO笑) (LOL) (笑) (笑) everything is wrapped with falsity, so go on. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀excluding, ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀rejecting, ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀targetting. was the point of this sick world was to give every single soul within it a chance to grow a disgusting perspective towards it? since when was it ever her turn in this? when the bull's eye just break, in whom would the bullet be directed to? someone else, or her again?
the version of her universe being the highest viewpoint in the hierarchy might show just how much loath she held for it, ⠀⠀if it wasn't for the life-long utopia where love is ⠀⠀uncertain. where the feeling of content would be erased and replaced by destruct, endlessly taking minutes from her life like a parasital plant. the lightning in the scenario was filled with a dark and misty air, the snow and trees around her uncleared in sight. purrs head feels so light, a vacant breeze of truth sweeping by the empty snowscape that wipes the lingering feeling of this all away from her. it all still feels ill, somehow. she wasn't able to look straightly nor make anything out of her enviroment. the pitch-dark light that dimmed beneath the moon and a hazy feeling of dizziness that swelled upon her arose alongside the... ..t he m oon. the one who she viewed as friendlier than the sun. a safe place for cats to reside beneath in its light. but it all feels toxic, like venom's eradicating through the air. like /everyone's/ looking at her. corrupted silhouettes of figures that blend with the fog and the sky in which nothing is seen lit except the moon. not even a single star. perhaps everyone was here to do the deed. even if she wasn't able to identify those eerie, white-eyed shadows whom's face was smeared with uncertainty like a mess, a rotting feeling of dread surround them and the loner alone. it was stupid to fight her own thoughts and say that these aren't people who despises her, who don't make it seem like the concept of vain is within the body she lives with. and the words within the poet of mistletoes felt just a few sentences away from being finished. just by staring at their hollow expressions. her heart being as frozen as ever, not even being able to be thawed just to show fear in her soulless eyes. the temperature drops at nearly zero in this deadly night. and she wanted to sink into the snow until her existence's forgotten. al l ey e s on you ch i r rup! it wasn't until long until she was in someone's paws. something's paws. the towering figure that appeared in a void-black and scratchy appearance who stood before her, not even she herself could make a quote out of what's behind those empty pupils that it owns. a pathetic hope for this world sprayed in black and white, the monochrome sprained gas that fills in her lungs. everything never felt so unreal. even if this kind of touch would last in warmth, letting the feline be in a state of actual safety and given sympathy, letting the feline cry out her tears and break the shattered glass beneath purrs violet gaze, letting the feline receive some kind of affection she seeks for ever since the memory of a certain someone brought itself to an end, ....does it matter? ⠀⠀⠀⠀does everything matter? ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀would her tears allow themselves to fall ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀directly into earth's surface? ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀would the longly hidden emotion of ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀hers ever be revealed without it being ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀misunderstood? words of affection and love, vain. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀physical touch of comfort and hugs, ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀vain. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀dreaming of wanting to be saved, ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀vain. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀vain. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀vain. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀vain. what a stupid life she has to live through. it all reminded her on how it served no good towards her. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀useless. but everything is wrapped with falsity, ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀so wake up. ... 笑 笑笑笑 笑 i wanted to whip this out very quickly sorry if th writing sucks lol references to lyrics: ♪ merry bad end - mafumafu