often, you'll be dealing with transphobes asking you these questions about what bathroom you use, your agab (in not-so-appropriate ways), and things like that. i personally am so well versed in this that people have stopped bothering to ask. "are you a boy or a girl?" - treat this as a yes or no question. "no", "sometimes", "maybe" and "guess" are all great answers. "wouldnt you like to know, weather boy?" and "who's askin?" are also wonderful. "only on tuesdays", "let me check" and "i'll get back to you in 3-5 business days" have all served me well. these also work for "are you (a) male or (a) female?" but my favorite of all answers for that one is. "no, i'm (a) gmaiI." "gender is whats in your pants" - not a question, but putting it here anyway. if you have something in your pockets, great! thats your gender now. if not, start frantically searching your pockets, bag, surrounding floor, etcetera. act really panicked and confused. start asking people if they took your gender. if you want to go a step above, keep something in your pockets at all times just for this purpose. if youre wearing shorts, a skirt, a dress, etc you can say "but i'm not wearing pants!" "what bathroom do you use?" - "wouldnt you like to know, weather boy?", "who's askin?", and other defensives that make you seem like youve got something to hide always work. "the one with a toilet" works aswell. i personally love going into an explanation about phasing through the wall dividing two bathrooms. yk how on bathroom signs when the bathrooms are next to eachother theres the line? that's what i mean. "what were you born as?" - a baby. you were born as a baby.
always, always, always commit to the bit. edit: "what are you, a cop?" is lovely too!!
