My Daily for JWC.
Once, long, long ago, there were three llamas who lived on a farm in upstate New York, only back when it was just... land. Tiny Llama was the most social, Middle Llama was the prettiest, and Giant Llama was the smartest, and also the scariest. The llamas were going to cross the bridge to get to their owners so they could have a filling dinner of... llama food, you know, like normal. “Me want llama!” Said a scary voice. Middle Llama just ran as fast and far as a fur-legged, heat-ridden llama can run. The others stayed, probably a bit dully. Staying around when someone wants to eat your flesh is an inherently dull choice. A large monster showed itself. It looked like a lion but was colored like a volcano. When one of the llamas stared, the lion creature would hiss and growl, probably with the goal of being scary, which is what it accomplished. A lazy glance would mean a scowl full of fangs and long, sharp teeth. Tiny Llama, perhaps unwisely, was the first to speak. “No, this thing wasn’t here last time.” “Of course, you hooligans, I was not here last time, whenever that was!” The creature said. “Quit your nonsense!” Shouted Giant Llama in is gigantic, booming voice. Now, if a deep voice is intimidating (and from a llama who can talk, no less), a shout was horrifying. But it only made the creature laugh. “Words, huh?” The beast sneered. Then, very wisely, Giant Llama crossed the bridge. “Me want llama!” There it was again. This creature had tried to give an intimidating sneer with it, so it sounded more like “Mwe wawt llomma,” Instead. “Fool,” Said Tiny Llama, who crossed the bridge too. After much arguing and dillydallying, the only thing left was to go. Calmly, and wisely, they went. And the thing? It fumed over what could have been (a dead llama) died of starvation because no llamas were dumb enough to be scared by him anymore. The llamas got lots of attention, but Middle Llama apparently couldn’t cross the bridge, and no search parties were held. And with those no search parties, there was a happily ever after.
