so... yeah. i know in a somewhat recent project i said i would continue to be active in 2024, but to be honest, im not sure yet if i want to continue to do that. scratch is seeming like its becoming more of a chore than a fun little website. with how quickly i grew, i feel like im pressuring myself to be more active and post more. to be totally honest, almost all of the art i make now is for uploads. i dont find it fun anymore, and i worry that my only hobby i have talent with is gonna d1e out if im not careful. this does not mean i will stop scratch... im still figuring that part out. even if i dont, i may make a hidden alt to just post random art pieces, but that account would be less verbal communication from me and the occasional doodle dumps. the thing is, im just growing up. im not trying to sound, like, depressing or anything, but its true. under half a year's time and im going to be going to high school. i need to cherish what time i have left in person with my friends and family rather than behind a screen posting art every week. again, i may not go full offline, as this is kinda the only place where i can freely speak about things i like, as my friend group is all over the place. one second its one piece the next its dragon prince. of course i like hearing them rant about things in their fandoms, but it kinda sucks cause none of them enjoyed star wars, but they still respect my liking of it. another thing, and i know this literal essay is all over the place, but i did so many things wrong in sixth grade, social status related, im scared to share literally anything i like with anybody, even my closest friends, in fear of judgement. like, its star wars. when a non fan thinks of star wars, they think, "oh space battles with lightsticks and blasters" and i guess im kinda just embarrassed about ppl finding out im more of a fan of the animated shows, bc most just think those are for rlly young kids, and im a teenager. but h3ll, ik nobody cares, but i wont accept that for some reason. sorry about that little rant at the end, it feels good to just dump out some random stuff. anyways, still deciding, and pls dont pressure me into making a decision. ty to and for everyone who follows me and respects my interests and just in general, everyone.
