hi my lovely fairies :) it has been a long time & i apologize. although i was planning on taking a short posting break i didn't think it would last this long, and i never imagined that i would be absent from scratch for a month once 2024 had started i became rlly busy, & even though i had been trying to put out a project "dealing with drama", i was never satisfied with it... perfectionism took over, and i started a new project: prettiest tunes jukebox. file size got too big, so i deleted it and wrote poems: bathroom stalls, the ℬeautiful people, pretty girls.... none of them hit as hard as i wanted and eventually all my motivation drained out eventually js opening my messages got tiring and i got rlly busy with my irl life, leaving not that much time for scratch ima b honest, i do sometimes js look around the comm, but i never logged on till today. theres still a guilt in me for not checking on u guys & im so so so so sorry. i just didn't have the mental energy to respond at my best & i didnt want to come off as dry my rl has been pretty fun & i think getting off scratch has helped me tons on focusing on other things that r important to me. i'm grateful for everyone who checked on me and it makes me happy to see the comm continuing to flourish. i appreciate all my friends on here im sorry to my friends and fairies for leaving u guys like that & i hope u all understand why i did. after reaching 200 i didn't ride off my success but instead js became overly searching for perfectionism. i was too scared and disappointed in my projects to post them, and now that id realized how many fairies i had the pressure of putting out a mediocre prj started to mess up myself i felt myself becoming incredibly redundant in my work i post pretty new and creative content and i try to put out projects that are engaging and helpful. i have a rlly personal connection to my work. everything i put out is based on my own experiences and hope to both educate and entertain unfortunately, that also means that my standards are increasing every project i make. it's like how a youtuber tends to post more ups abt their life than downs, or focuses on romanticizing. i wanted to post the best content and content that i thought embodied me as my best self the last actual project i posted was in early november. giving advice u dont know how awful i felt to look in the comments and see people writing multiple paragraph rants, asking for my advice, and i js didnt answer. it makes me feel like an awful person for letting u guys down u guys put your trust in me and i wasnt there for you. i know how hard it is to trust ppl and the fact that u guys trust me, some random 14 yr old on scratch, is honestly crazy. i love u guys sm and im sorry i wasnt there when u needed me my scratch journey on miyairies has been abt fostering a fairy garden, a community. i want to say my scratch journey was a true success. the amount of trust and kindness and beauty that has been miyairies is absolutely astounding. even in a drama filled aesthetic comm we've managed to create a place of love and sweet kind ppl here on miyairies and it makes me happy. but what's gonna happen to now? well i dont rlly know. i cant say im for sure going to come back to posting projects. i love this community and being here but im not sure if staying is the right choice for me rn. i have a lot of things going on rn and even though i love scratch, i dont trust myself to keep my priorities straight i know ive made all these prjs abt keeping everything together, but ill be fr nobody is perfect. not me. and i get easily sidetracked. like im supposed to be doing geo rn and instead im writing this. so no im not making a full comeback. i would love to some time in the future since i ADORE making projects for my fairies. i js dont know if i can do that rn. but ill def keep replying to comments and hopping on when i can<3 i love my fairies and u guys r beautiful regardless of what warty witches say :) ♥ remember that! ill be off and on & ill try to respond to comments asap :) ty for sticking through this w me! xx miya giveon>>>
