i'm bored and procrastinating. No, chapter 1 is nowhere near finished. what do I have to say about that? Deal with it. /hj Astro: It’s Christmas! Are you all in a Christmas mood?! Fawn: Merry crisis. Depresso: Jingle bells, jingle bells, single all the way. Sunshine: Hoe hoe hoe. Astro: Guys, please. Fawn: Why, Astro? Astro: What?! It wasn’t me! Fawn: Sorry, force of habit. Why, Sunshine? Sunshine: Not me either. Fawn: Oh...Then who set the house on fire? Depresso: *whistles* Fawn: *Screams* Astro: *Screams louder to establish dominance* Sunshine: Should we do something? Depresso: No, I want to see who wins. That one is literally me and one of my friends. we just text each other saying: *scream* there was one time when it got really out of hand and she typed a whole story abt how I k!||3d her after a screaming dominance match lol Cop: You’re receiving a ticket for having three people on one motorcycle. Fawn: What? Astro: Wait, three? Cop: Yeah? Sunshine: OH MY GOD DEPRESSO FELL OFF!!! Fawn, Astro, and Sunshine are sitting on a bench Depresso: Why do you guys look so sad? Fawn: Sit down with us so we can tell you. *Depresso sits down* Astro: The bench is freshly painted. Fawn: There is no future. there is no past. do you see? Time is simultaneous, an intricately structured jewel that humans insist on viewing one edge at a time, when the whole design is visible in every facet. Astro: Sunshine: Depresso: Everyone Else At Fawn’s Surprise Birthday Party: Astro: All I asked was if you wanted to cut your birthday cake first. Fawn: On the count of three, what's your favorite cake? One, two, three- Fawn and Astro, in unison: Chocolate cake peanut butter frosting with chocolate chunks! Sunshine: Our turn, Depresso! One, two, three- vanilla! Depresso, deadpan: I've never had cake, what is cake. Fawn: Tonight, one of you will betray us. Astro: Is it me, Fawn? Fawn: No, it’s not you. Sunshine: Is it me, Fawn? Fawn: It’s not you either. Depresso: Is it me, Fawn? Fawn: Fawn, mockingly: Is IT mE Fawn? Fawn: Hah! 69! You know what that means? Astro: What? Depresso: That you're a child. Sunshine: HOW'D YOU GUESS MY IQ!? Fawn: Yo is Depresso sleeping or dead? Astro: Hopefully dead, I hated their guts. Sunshine: Yeah, so did I. Depresso: Okay first of all, wth- Fawn: Astro, I'm sad. Astro: *Holds out arms for a hug* It’s going to be okay. Sunshine: Depresso, I'm sad. Depresso, nodding: nice *Fawn's helping Astro out after they get injured, while the others are watching* Sunshine: How does Astro look? Depresso: A little better than you, actually. Fawn: Astro isn’t answering their phone Sunshine: I’ll call Fawn: Depresso and I have both tried six times each, what makes you thi- Astro: Hello? Fawn: I currently have 7 empty notebooks and I have no clue what to put in them. Suggestions? Astro: Put spaghetti in it. Fawn: I'm currently taking suggestions from literally anyone but you. Sunshine: Put spaghetti in it. Fawn: I'm currently taking suggestions from anyone but you two. Depresso: Put spaghetti in it. Fawn: I'm no longer taking suggestions. Fawn: I think Depresso was right. Astro: I'm surprised they haven't marched in here to say 'I told you so.' Sunshine: They wouldn't do that. Depresso: You're right, Sunshine. For once in your life, you're 100% right. I would never say that. Depresso: *turns around, the shirt they're wearing says 'Depresso Told You So' on the back* Fawn: Everyone, synchronize your watches. Astro: I don’t know how to do that. Sunshine: I don’t wear a watch. Depresso: Time is a construct. Fawn, about Astro: Apparently we’re getting someone new in the group. Sunshine: Are we stealing them? Depresso: New or used? Fawn: Wonderful responses, both of you. Fawn: You lying, cheating, [bleep] Astro: Oh yeah? You’re the idiot who thinks you can get away with everything you do. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD Fawn: I’m leaving you, and I’M TAKING SUNSHINE WITH ME Depresso, picking up the monopoly board: I think we’re gonna stop playing now. Fawn: Self care is actually getting into fights with randoms in dark alleys. Astro: No, self care is stuff like taking a bubble bath, or putting on a lot of makeup if you like it, or taking a nice warm nap! Sunshine: Self care is the burning heat when rage washes over you!! Self care is when you feel the bones crack under your powerful fists!! Self care is the fear in your enemies’ eyes!!! Depresso: Lmao self care is taking your birthday cake just so I can eat the frosting. Fawn: If you touch my birthday cake I’ll make you eat your hands. I'm laughing too much I should probably stop now dont worry more shall come guys, you are lucky. I spammed my friend with these for at least half an hour and I'm requiring that she reads them all.
