by @mothkeeper + me music: BEcause by Dreamcatcher ------------------------------------------------------------------ black tears fall ink dripping down my cheeks soulless emotionless heartless eyeless cold leaking ink everywhere I wanna care but I really don't only care about my art you? not so much don't really see any reason to honestly it may be harsh but it's the truth don't know what else to tell you I wish I could care but I don't so you'd best get used to this yet you still want to be my friend you're still here, trying why? why do you want to be my friend? why do you stay around me? be around someone that will actually care that will actually be kind that will actually be nice that won't be full of sarcasm and emotionless stares that won't be cold and stubborn that will care when you talk about your problems and be a warm shoulder to cry on when you need it not someone who'd probably get super annoyed and be of no help or just sit there silently and offer no condolences at the end yet you still say you wanna be around me you're still here ranting to me even when you get no response sticking by my side when everyone else fights against me you comfort me and when I ask why you say 'because you're worth it' and when I ask how you say 'because you are' I say I'm not but you refuse to change your mind you say you can see that I do have a heart and that I can change i say that i can't this is who i am and it's never going to change you still say I can and I've already changed a lot i roll my eyes and turn away you reach over and hug me i stiffen wrapped in your warmth you half-pull away thinking you hurt me i want to return to the warmth but i don't move you ask if you made me uncomfortable i don't answer you ask me again i glance up at you, letting you decide what to make of it you slowly hug me again i don't move you ask me if that means I'm fine with it i slowly lean back into you a tiny bit in answer you ask me if that means I'm not i roll my eyes again you start to get a little mad claiming that since I won't tell them anything how the heck are they supposed to know? but then apologize. i just blink at them unable to properly convey what i'm feeling because it's new and i don't know if i like it yet you say you'll give me time to decide if I need it i blink at you again subtly nodding you nod back i feel something trickling out of my eye again swiping at it to find my finger stained in ink black seeping down my finger it starts to overflow falling down my cheeks i frown slightly, wondering why my eyes slowly lose color turning from blue to grey then darkening my world turns black covering everything in an ink black sheen I fall to the ground you're by my side in an instant you ask what's happening and though you try not to show it, I can tell your voice is full of panic i don't answer, blinking frantically i don't want to be here again I feel dizzy and everything blacks out as I fall your voice gets more panicky and you're kneeling next to me propping me up why are you still here after everything i've done I mutter out those last few words before I pass out and just barely catch your response of 'because i love you'
