if it had been raining that would have made everything just perfect. perfect. that word. bea was perfect. sweet, pretty, caring, trusting. bliss was perfect. charming, kind, confident, handsome. there was nothing she could have done to save herself from loving him. /him/ the one word worse than "perfect." hemlock's paws were on grass. she'd reached the end of the sand. so maybe she was free from the clutches of a clan she didn't like. maybe she had made it out of that dessert, that barren place. but she was trapped. yeah, if she had had anything to be angry about she would have been free. but she didn't. bliss had not done anything, nor had bea. but hemlock had. she had done the worst. angry without reason, she wasn't trustworthy. she was not faithful, not steadfast, not loyal. not the least bit sensitive. so why did everything hurt so bad?? she slid to a stop on the wet shadowclan ground and panted lightly. why /did/ it hurt so bad ?? if she was so insensitive, so numb .. why did she feel /everything/?? because some wounds are so deep that sensitive or not, you feel them. but she didn't deserve her wounds. she had done nothing good enough to earn the right to hurt. the only ones who had the right to hurt were bliss and beastpaw. and she knew that they did. they did hurt. because of her. hemlock took a shuddered breath. so that was that. she had lost them. just like she had lost everything else in her life. all she had was her den. so she went there. she laid in her den staring at the crashing waves and listening to the swaying grass. in her paw she held a flower. and she spoke. softly and with caution, she spoke pretty words to nothing. she whispered a speech tied in a bow and dusted with glitter, shimmering in the moonlight. her voice was smooth and quiet, not husky anymore. it was not permanent, but it was there. nothing was permanent. not for her. so why use it ?? why enjoy it ?? why grow attached to a thing you'll lose in the blink of an eye ?? why love some one you'll scare off with just a few words ?? there was no reason. so she decided something in her den. she wouldn't. - - @rel-e and @elegist , just know that this doesnt have to happen during our rp, i just wanted to write this lol it was fun and someone please rp w emmie i have to gift her with her new personality traits
