“Can’t Speak” Chapter One: The music tries to drown out the thoughts in my head, but I won’t let it. I was moving and grooving to the music, trying my best to stay on beat. Forgetting the moves won’t do me any good right now. Side step. Side step. Hop. Wiggle. The words kept replaying, splashing away all the doubts that lived in my brain. I could move and twist any way I wanted to. I could jump and hop and slide my feet to the beat. I can do jazz hands and do the wave. Melody Brooks can’t do that. Can’t do any of that. She can’t move or do the wave. I felt so bad for her. I go to Spaulding Street Elementary School and my name is Jade Sadie. I’m in the 5th grade. I’m quiet and nobody knows who I am. I like to sing and dance but nobody can know that. I like to be Jade. Just Jade. Not Jade the dancer, or Jade the singer, nor Jade the ugly duck. Just Jade. Just crippled, curly brown-haired, blue-eyed, and quiet Jade. I have dyslexia and I have trouble figuring out if the letters on the page would dance forever, twisting and jumping about. Sometimes I feel as If I can’t speak. Today was no ordinary day in my life. I woke up feeling fresh and new but something was different. A feeling lurking in the air that screamed odd. I tried to ignore it as Mother walked into my room. “Good morning, honey oats,” She said, sitting down on the edge of my bed. “Ready for school?” It wasn’t going to be any different. I was going to go to school and sit in the back. Nobody would see me and I could struggle with the words without anyone saying anything to me. Yes, it was lonely but I was glad that I wasn’t the one getting bullied for my condition. I nodded my head and got to my feet. She passed me the clothes that I would wear to school and I got dressed. As I headed down the stairs, I could hear faint music in the kitchen. I skipped five steps (my biggest record) and jumped to the bottom. The music flowed through my veins and the beat was thumping through my feet. I shimmied, wiggled, jumped and hopped. At this point, I've already thrown my coat aside and dropped my bookbag down. I could feel the music in my soul. “Jade Blade, whatcha doing?” Dad asked, poking his head out of the kitchen. “She’s a pop star, hun,” Mom responded, walking down the stairs herself. Dad mimicked me and did the moves I did on the slippery kitchen floor. He almost fell a few times but he managed to stay steady. Goodness, Dad was horrible at dancing! He looked like a duck having a seizure. After the song stopped, I was out of breath and panting. “Looks like someone was dancing too hard.” Mom teased, wiping cold sweat off my forehead with a damp towel. Dad was making breakfast for him and Mom before they had to go to work. “Let’s go, Jade Blade,” Dad said, opening the front door. I rushed to put on my coat and threw on my bookbag. “On my way Dad!” I called out, tying my shoelace. He shook his head sarcastically and went outside. Once I finished tying my shoe, I ran into the car, accidentally slamming the door while closing it. “I’d appreciate it if you didn’t slam my door, Jade,” Dad said, examining it from the inside. “Sorry, Dad. It was an accident.” I apologized. He patted my head and we drove off to my school. When I entered the elementary school, there was chatter and whispers all through the hallways and classrooms. “What’s going on?” I asked Rose, one of my classmates and I think she’s also Melody’s friend. “Look,” She pointed to one of the TV sets on the wall and I was shocked at what I saw. The quiz team won the competition! And it was on national television! “Good job!” I congratulated her. She smiled modestly and thanked me. I sat at my seat and waited for Mr. Dimmings to teach us. In just a few minutes, he walked in and he was glowing with pride. His smile never left the whole class time. It was kind of annoying to see someone grin that much. “Wanna eat lunch with me?” A girl named Josie asked before I left the classroom. I was surprised that someone noticed me other than the teachers and lunch ladies. “Sure,” I said, trying my best not to jump with joy. I continued the rest of my classes feeling really excited. When lunch arrived, I was ecstatic when I sat down to wait on Josie. Part two: Part Three:
I glanced over my shoulder to see Josie walking towards me with some other students from other classes. One was in the sixth grade and some were in the fourth grade. As soon as I saw them, I knew something wasn’t right. She didn’t mention anything about other people joining. Well, the more the merrier, I guess. They sat at the table and awkward glances were being passed around like a game of hot potato. I cleared my throat and sat up straight. “H-Hi there. My name is Jade. What are your names?” I ask. They looked at me, then looked away, not saying a single word. Instead, some of them left and some just stared off into space and ate their lunch. Gosh, this was a weird day! “My name is Charlie and this is Gwen, Harper, James, Freddie, and Josie.” One of the boys said, gesturing to all of the kids at the table. I looked to my right where Josie was sitting and saw her nervously clenching and unclenching her fists. “Are you alright?” I asked, nudging her gently on her shoulder. She looked over at me and rolled her eyes. There was something in them that did not look like the Josie I had met a few minutes ago. Gwen, James, Harper, and Josie left the table one by one, leaving only me and Charlie. He ate his food carefully and I thought that he could be a human-turtle hybrid because of how slowly he ate. Lunch went by gradually, much more than I wished. The pizza tasted stale, the crust hard beneath my tongue. The milk tasted sweet and cold, I liked it this way. The ringing of the bell was more satisfying than the slime videos Dad would watch! I was so relieved when I didn’t have to stay in that embarrassing moment for long. I jolted up and rushed to throw away my food. Before I could reach the trashcan, I felt something cold and slimy against my neck and on my head. Spaghetti dripped down my hair and onto the ground. Laughing hummed in my ears as I tried to comprehend what had just happened. When Josie appeared in view, laughing loudly, I finally understood. “Oops,” She snickered. “I thought you were a trashcan. My bad!” My heart thumped loudly and I could hardly hear Charlie’s pitiful voice calling out to me as I ran out of the lunchroom. Hot tears stung my eyes and rounded a random corner, sitting down slowly. How could she do this to me!? I thought she was nice! I thought she actually wanted to be my friend! Memories flashed through my mind, Grandmother telling me how ‘not all people are to be trusted’ and that ‘they can turn on you like an anglerfish to their prey’. She was right. I shouldn’t trust every single person that asks to eat with me. I was better off eating lunch alone than this. I felt cold spaghetti sauce sliding into my shirt. As I sobbed on the ground, I could hear faint footsteps heading towards me. Getting quiet, then louder, quieter, louder, until it was right beside me. “There you are!” Charlie’s voice sounded. I looked up at the tall figure, blurry from tears. “Let’s go get you cleaned up. Maybe they will let you go home.” He said, helping me up to my feet. I wiped my tears as Charlie gave me a reassuring pat on the back. We walked to the office and I felt more embarrassed than I already was. The teachers had to see me like this, let alone the students! This was officially one of the worst days of my life.
