Homelessness ~ A Poem Years of surviving on the streets, Always having the cold knitted tightly into my bones because I had no where else that was safer for me to go to really other than a theater which looked like it was at its breaking point, Always having hunger deeply seated in my stomach because 6 kids who used to be 7 were just desperatly trying to stay alive, Because the people they were told to trust hurt them, Because they were trying to keep their family alive, Barely getting by, Trying to stay ok, Always having to stay on guard because someone could always just decide that this day they want you dead, Always ready to fight for my life if needed or for a friend I just wanted to hold, Always staying unreadable because after always staying unreadable, emotionless and cold, Keeping everything locked up inside my mind for so long to be honest I wasnt sure how to stop doing it anymore , Because after all this time it turned into my default, my normal, Never showing my true emotions on my face, Always never being completely safe because we didnt have any actual security just ourselves the only ones we relied on always relying on ourselves, Never trusting anyone else completely because we were all just broken people frantically trying to pick up the pieces that we dragged with us, Because we had been broken beyond repair, Because the pain was everywhere, Because we didnt know any other way, Because we didnt know the right way, Because we had no one to show us, And we know we are all lost, Every morning, Always trying to keep on going, Trying to stand up from whatever hard surface you slept on after starving all week or longer, Everything dilusional and weak with naseau and pain, Just tired, Of lying, Of never crying, Tired of waking up screaming every night, Tired of losing everything, Eventually it will all be gone, And I will be even more alone, Still tired, Tired of having to wonder every hour will they die? Of hunger, of a sickness, of a wound or maybe of a person, Would I even get to say my goodbye? Im tired, Trying to find the meaning of life in a life were it feels like nothing good ever happens, Because somewhere deep down Ive just lost hope, I dont really know how to cope, When I look in the mirror, The girl is crying, She doesnt want to smile, but keeps on trying, She wants to get out, But she cant shout, She sits alone, She doesnt know who to phone, Wishing every day something would change, That someone would let her out of this cage, I see her whenever I look in the mirror, She wants help, But all she can do is let out a broken yelp, When I look in the mirror, I see her, The girl with haunted eyes that told a story when you looked nearer, The girl in the mirror losing the spark of life in her eyes, Like shes just wondering when will I die, Depression spreading like a poison in my mind, Toxic thoughts screaming its time, Everythings screaming at me that Im not fine, The cold biting through bone, I dont have anyone to phone, Pain everywhere, Ill die alone but no one will care, Because its just another day, Surviving on the streets, Because after all this time, Ive given up on everyone else, Ive given up on myself, Because somewhere along the way I might have lost the meaning of actually being truly okay.
This is a poem kind of based on one of my chapters from my HP fanfic on this account @Chino_Randa1 Look I havent actually been homeless and this isnt supposed to be offensive or anything. There are a lot of homeless people in the world and this is just how I thought it would be.
