Hi, I’m looking for advice and help with a situation with a friend of mine. First of all I want to talk a bit about myself and the therians around me. I go by Quill online, I use any pronouns, and personally I’ve been having trouble with gender identity,settling on Agender (quick edit). My theriotypes. were all figured out through behavior and spiritual connection. Eastern Cottontail rabbit- behavior, my style of natural quads, allergic to rabbits when I was young Red Fox, possibly a mother vixen based on a behavior of curling around stuffed animals and my cat, pouncing style, behavior, shifts Ragdoll cat, behavior, shifting, connection with felines, going limp when my friends try to pick me up ect . These are the main three that I am sure about. I know a handful of therians who live near me. One I’ve known for years and didn’t know until earlier this year. They are excellent at mask making and have lots of gear. Another Therian I know practices quads and leaping a lot and I’ve always noticed a spiritual connection between them and like EVERYTHING. They love spirits and spiritual things. Another Therian friend of mine actually told our friends recently that they are not a Therian anymore which really confused me. But the friend I’m needing some help with, who I’ll call Bob, is a Therian who is a certain type of cat, I’ve forgotten, a Labrador, snow leopard, two types of owls, bobcat, and I think something else but I’ve forgotten as well. So the Main drama started recently so I want to quickly go back to how I knew I was a Therian personally. Throughout my life I’ve been drawn to animals. My original career plans were veterinary or zoo working to be around these wonderful species. Now I’m set on detective and police work, growing towards a fascination with crime. No matter what role plays I did with my stuffed animals, I was almost definitely an animal too. It was either normally a feline or a canine. I can remember wolf, fox, and cat games the most vividly from the roleplays I did. As I grew I learned about spiritual connections and spirit animals and always thought that was so fascinating yet oddly familiar. I’d actually been noticing these behaviors in myself that’s considered shifting and signs when the same friend, Bob, told me what therians were. Something clicked. All those years of this behavior and signs finally made sense. I started linking things up and practicing quadrobics, now knowing the proper name. My first time doing quads was one of the signs for being an Eastern Cottontail. I’d hopped the same way rabbits do for about 10 minutes. I also tried the way other therians do and try to imagine a place I feel calm. I immediately imagined this beautiful open meadow with tall grasses. Combined with other behaviors, I realized I was an Eastern Cottontail. Shortly after my friends started trying to pick me up, as I was the weaker one in the group, and my first instinct was to go limp until they set me back down. It works almost every time. I knew I was a cat, those being fairly common, and kept doing research, noticing shifts, then settling on the behaviors and realization of being a Ragdoll cat. Same things happened, shifting I’d done for years without realizing, an odd feeling that drew me to this animal, and I realized I was a Red Fox, and noticing more behaviors more recently, most likely a mother vixen.
Now I want to dive into the drama. (Above was info on me, how I realized I was a therian, theriotypes, info on "Bob" ect.) I was hanging out with my friend, who I’ll call Billy. (keep in mind that even if the names are male, the two main friends who are in this story were born female. Bob I believe is genderfluid, while Billy is female but I don’t know their pronouns so I will keep using they/them as gender neutral) Billy and I were playing a game and Billy looks at me and proceeds to tell me how Bob had been talking about me to them. Billy said they remembered that Bob had told them that they think I’m a fake Therian, and that they were doubting I was something to do with LGBTQIA, which Billy couldn’t remember what they said. First of all, I’m going to clear up the LGBTQIA part first. I recently discovered I was Agender. I’d never liked gender labels. Somebody referred to me as he/him when they didn’t want to assume, and something clicked. I’d always preferred They over She for some reason, but that one He, clicked something in my brain. Months and even a few years of this questioning of who i was slowed down and I thought on it. Agender is different for everyone, for me it was a way to feel neutral and be gender neutral. I use any and all pronouns and I am pansexual/panromantic. I know there are many identities and don’t believe I should hate on somebody for being different. I don’t believe that Bob should have doubted something like this because who are they to tell Billy that I’m lying about my sexuality or gender? I haven’t told either of them about my being Agender, but they do know I’m pans. I don’t think this is Bob’s problem in the first place to even doubt or talk to somebody else about. Now I’ll take over the Fake Therian part. I’ve known Bob for a few years and we’ve grown super close. As In our families consider themselves one family at this point due to us CONSTANTLY being around each other. Finding this out through Billy shattered my heart for some reason. The reason could have been the close bond I had with Bob or the fact I’d just gotten into an argument with somebody who was forcing their opinion on our group chat, saying it was “humanly impossible not to know your sexuality”. But that’s another story. Bob’s words stung me for the first time in a while. Billy did not have an explanation on why they were gossiping behind my back about me being a fake Therian. I sent a quick message telling them I didn’t want to talk to them over the weekend and didn’t give an explanation. I also told them I was dropping out of this “club” they were making. They were literally just getting our and their friends at our school, to gather drama and gossip and find stuff out about it. I decided to come here for advice on what I should do and say. I’ve also got to be in two classes tomorrow with them as well. I’d also like to know if I really am a fake Therian and don’t know. But I feel like I have too strong a spiritual connection to be a fake Therian. Please help me out with this!
